04 April 2009

New posts..... New posts.... new posts!!!!!

hey I have been posting on my NEW blog... CHECK it out!!!!!
if you have been following me here.... switch it up!!!!

18 January 2009


Okay so I haven't blogged in FOREVER.. I could give you a HUGE list of why... but i don't believe in excuses... SOOOO
I HAVE A NEW BLOG... no I am NOT giving up on talking/writing... but well see here i am with a issue.. i could continue to blog here and there and do no justice to the blog world.. OR i could do what i do BEST... TAKE photos and SHARE them with you...
so with that... you will now find me at....
Hope you will come check em out!!!
thanks for joining me on the journey hope you will join me on this one!

10 April 2008

a vist to hell... err i mean vegas airport

have you ever stopped and wondered 'humm what is hell like? hope i never find out? is it really like the visual image you read of in books? could it really be like it is said of in the Word?" ....
well after spending over 4 hours now STUCK in the Las Vegas airport--- i think i have had my glimpse into hell. in fact as i have sat here and watched in sadness the people around me, i have decided this really could be the next great stagging for the big 'revival' --- where is a good tv evangelist when you need one???
so here is what i have seen...
pretty much 80% of those i am surrounded by are the poster children(?) for the AARP- 1/2 of them look very upset because they just lost their last 2 of not 3 social security checks at the casinos and what change they did have in their pockets at the airport slots... the other 1/2 are on cloud 9 because they somehow smoked the man out and tripled their social security check---
you then have the young ... i'm now of legal age to come to vegas and PLAY crowd (NOTE TO THIS GROUP: run... RUN... don't walk to your nearest exit NOW!) most of them are walking heads down as they have pushed it too far and that "one last hand" to see if they could come back positive---took them further and further south.
you have some that didn't go that route... they just passing through... but yet here in vegas you can't escape- the machines are everywhere---
and there people sit. plunking coins and pulling handles... hoping... praying for a pay out... yet in 4 hours I haven't heard one person hit it... not one!
my heart breaks-- i want to go tell them they are hoping and praying for the wrong pay out. that they can yank the lil arm all night and even if the coins fall out-- it is still EMPTY.... but the spinning and clanging and noise drowns out any hope of a conversation.
so i'll sit and pray... and watch... and wonder about the real story of their lives...
walk on

22 November 2007

a lost and found identity

i have been wanting to write for a long time...
so much to say- but so unsure how to say it.
have had some pretty awesome things happen...
then i felt like the bottom of my world fell out-
ever been there?
... it was the craziest experience. usually i see it coming- but this time- WOW blind sided is such an understatement.
here i was- life was going along well, i felt like i was in a good place, i made some really big choices for myself--- they were a challenge but good challenge... and i felt good about it. i had finally found an apartment to move into and i was feeling okay about it... and that is when it happened.
i was in my apartment and i was starting to unpack- and i was looking at all these memories- 15 years of youth ministry looking back at me. years of amazing transformation in the lives of students- and even me. there were some pretty tough years too. churches with pastors that didn't (don't) believe in the very Word of God- don't believe that Jesus is the Only way-- who fought me about my beliefs even though they knew when they hired me who they were getting. so i found myself surrounded by photos, and keepsakes of years and years of ministry- lives changed and a life challenged and now? GONE... and what was left??? NOTHING... it was crazy.. but all of a sudden i felt like a shell of who i was.
see i always joked about how you could never separate me from my ministry and my ministry from me. i lived very transparently- what you saw was what you got (still is) but every thing about who i was was my ministry and everything about my ministry was who i was. there was no separation- i didn't ever want someone to say-- oh that is the lizzy that is at church with students... and this is the lizzy with us... so i looked at this stuff and wondered who i was without it. who could i be and what use was i? ... so stinking crazy! i kept telling myself so-- but suddenly i was frozen. i didn't unpack anymore. i didn't talk to anyone who i didn't have to. i wasn't sleeping, i was more than burning my candle at both ends. ---and the craziest part--- i didn't really 100% see it. i just knew i couldn't handle people- so i stopped being around them if i didn't have to be... to the extreme i even avoided church for a few weeks.
finally a friend of mine realized something was off and cornered me on the phone one night. not sure she was 100% ready for the flood that came drowning out the other end... i didn't even realize everything i was feeling until i started talking about it... but it felt good to talk about it.
i still find myself struggling some with it all. my apartment is still not all the way unpacked-- but it is more because of time then because of being 'frozen'---
it is crazy the way things come at us at times. when we least expect it-- WHAM! but there it is. we also, i believe, don't realize how things really are going to effect us.
for me it is just one more turn on this dizzy road called life... and that is okay. He is EVER faithful and is seeing me through this too.

be blessed and bless.. and be ever mindful of those around you! i am ever thankful for a dear friend, rachel, for taking the time to stop and talk to me...

enjoy each step in the road.. the high steps... the low steps.. and even the ones that make you dizzy!


29 August 2007


it has been a LONG time since i last posted. for many different reasons.... er .... umm excuses?? yeah okay no such thing as GOOD excuses for not putting down what is stirring around in my heart and soul. so much has been going on and i think the main reason i haven't put it down has been out of PURE FEAR! yes ladies and gents- i lizzy- am a CHICKEN! --- feathers and funky head bob included! you see the moment i put it down- the moment i commit to paper---er--- webspace???---whatever it becomes more 'real'... okay sure argue with me on this fact--- you won't win--- this is MY brain we are talking about... and if you have ever been where i am you understand what i am talking about....
let me start here----
so a few weeks--- or has it been a month ago now? anyway awhile back our church went to a rockhounds game--- i didn't go for the game---- i went for the social aspect of the event. PROMISE i am not sure i even watched 5 min of the game. i watched the 'opening pitches' you know where they have 'special guests' throw out the ball... yeah... and umm i watched our bikers group (the stonegators-- yes all our church has a bikers group!)ride around the field. well the rest of the night i just chatted with folks. WELL and i took pictures- for those that know me that is NO surprise... I don't go far without it! :)
well one of my favorite subjects are my most amazing friend Rockstar-Rachel's kiddos... especially- Zane-- there is something about him--- he captures you with his eyes...but his words will get you too! he was walking around in the grass and i snapped the following picture:
when i asked zane what he was doing after i grabbed this pic- he looked at me and said--- "looking for a 'venture'" ....humm looking for an adventure.
this picture and his words have stayed with me....
looking for an adventure....
not so much that i am looking for an adventure...but that i am seeking right now... seeking what God is really calling me to do---- what His will --- His plan--- His desire for me is...
I moved back to Midland with a thought...a idea and a goal... I have worked hard to keep my heart and my mind really focused on HIM and HIM alone.
the best part is i can honestly say that HE has been about a lot of HEALING over the last 4 1/2 months... but i also know i feel alot like how zane looks in this picture... i'm seeking... i'm kind of draggin my toes in the grass looking for an answer to a lot of asked questions in my prayer time. He knows His plans for my life... i am going to keep walking and seeking....more on this later... as i seek the 'venture'... with the wise words of a 3 year old... what is it that we read??? 'and a child will lead them' hummmm wow....