16 June 2007

blessed in the midst of skinned knees....

Okay...so to be fair in the midst of all the falling down...dusting off
and getting back up of the last few weeks or so of my life there have
been moments of blessing. Moments when I have been given the opportunity
to actually catch my breath and even at times take a deep breath. There
have been times (yes even in the face flat on the ground moments) where
I have been able to rejoice and know that even though my road is not
lined with roses and gold (and wow would I want that anyway?)
THIS...THIS is what and where I am to be right now.... I have been able
to come back to a place of community. Where I have friends who are more
family than some of my own.
As I start new and fresh with a lot of unknowns I don't have to do every
thing from phase one....I don't have to start from scratch building from
the ground up.... YES IN THESE THINGS I REJOICE!!!! And I rejoice that
no matter how many times I fall down I can and will get up because HE is
my strength...and I rejoice because it is when I am facedown that I am
reminded that that is truly the attitude we are to come to the father
Matt Redman has an amazing song out with the following line..."and I'll
fall facedown as Your glory shines around. Yes, I'll fall facedown as
Your glory shines around" that simple chours reminds me that it is the
humbleness of heart that He desires before Him. Not a proud boastful
So it has not been easy...so I have skinned my knees...I have bruised my
shins...what is that in the grand picture of this life? As I think about
it I actually rejoice that I have fallen on my face because it is when I
am flatout that He meets me the hardest...He gets up in my face and
lovingly wipes away the stains and dirt and replaces it with His LOVE
and His HOPE and His MERCY. See when we forget to worry about what is
around us and who might be watching us fall....we just get real with
Him. We strip away the stuff of the world and invite Him in......So are
you ready? Instead of waiting for the ground to fall out from beneath
you.... why don't you fall down?......FALL FACEDOWN!LET HIS GLORY SHINE AROUND.....

off for some facedown time...

one day i hope to be like you dad....

yesterday i spent sometime with my new friend rachel taking pics of her 3 amazing and beautiful children as a surprise for her husband jon for father's day. the whole idea was to dress the kids in their dad's clothing- each one in a different piece of his clothes- then i edited them. we originally thought we would do black and white...but then i was playing around with my new editing software and below is what i came up with. so here ya go.... this is what i call:

"Dad one day I hope not just to grow into your shadow but into the very image of the man you are...you are the one I look up to...the one who inspires me...holds me when I cry...and provides for my every need...YOU are my gift from THE Father...and on this Father's Day I rejoice and Thank Him for the gift of you to me!"

umm yeah....
and that my friends was a PERFECT afternoon!

07 June 2007

warning will robinson...warning! ....rough road ahead!

Sometimes the road of life feels like one big constant POTHOLE. Been
there? Ya know you hit one little hick up and you think...ah no biggie.
Then the next one comes right as you are dusting the dirt off your
skinned knees....and WHAM!! Down you go again. Determined you jump up
and quickly go to dusting off the dirt and cleaning the junk out of your
now raw knees....and in the midst of it all you are knocked off your
feet again. You try to stay positive. Your friends joke with you that if
you had luck all it would be bad luck....you try to keep it positive and
laugh...hahaha...so not funny even though they are just trying to cheer
you up. You have faith...you know the one who holds you in His hands and
directs your paths.... that is why this is so hard...why bad days and
bruised skinned knees day after day with no end in sight seems
unbearable. But life does happen and sometimes it really does just
spiral out of control and feel overwhelming. As one friend said "maybe
He is just getting ready to bless you." Maybe...or maybe He is just
needing to break me for one reason or another....well...DONE. Been a
long few weeks and I am ready for some relief from the Mac Truck
encounters.... too much to ask?
Slowly pickin myself back up....dusting off my knees...

01 June 2007

summer time blues

Well this is my first summer in 13 years that I will not spend at least
one week at summer camp, one week (and often two or three) on a mission
trip, various side trips on the weekends to music festivals, retreats,
and other such youth ministry related outings.

Last summer I had my 'lightest' summer on record as I was only gone on
Youth Ministry related trips or encased in in-town multiple day events
a total of 5 1/2 weeks of the 9 week summer... seriously... some of you
reading this think that is bad... but that was a light summer! I
actually got to take a vacation in the midst of my summer madness last
year... that never happens... well okay I only got to because school
started so early in Texas and so did summer band... but any way.... it
was a light summer...

And now this year has come... summer is here... how do I know this fact?
Well school is out (duh lizzy easy one there...hey never said I was a
rocket scientist!) ... kids now fill the streets in search of the summer
job (or trying to avoid it)...the temps are on the rise (ugh! What the
heck? I love Texas but mercy it is already in the 90's and it is just now
June 1st!) and summer camps and mission trips are in full swing!....

Last week our jr. High kids from my new church I am attending took off
for a week at camp and on monday the sr. High kids will depart...I would
say they trade places 'passing in the night' but well that makes it
sound crazier then it is...the youth staff does sleep for a day or 2 (I
think)... at any rate as I have prayed for my camper this past week
memories of old have come washing over me. All those years of camp and
mission trips. Endless nights sleeping in strange places (okay maybe
sleeping is an over statement) working and going until you think you
can't go anymore yet you do. Late night conversations had by the
campfire or sitting next to the river at the end of an amazing mission
trip listening to the heart beat of one of your students.... and I
realized that this whole deprogramming and reprogramming is not really

See inside of me is this heart that has been shaped and molded by the
hands of the Master Himself- there have been no mistakes in the grand
plan of what has been the journey of my life thus far. I am going to
miss the activity of what has been my identity of a "summer" for the
last 13 years... I will not lie... I will continue to shed tears in the
privacy of my bedroom late at night as I look at pictures from mission
trips of years past (as that is what I will miss the most). BUT I look
forward (yes with a little nervousness) to the plans He has for me and
the vision of the ministry He has planted...I will not run (even if that
feels easier) ...I will not hide (even when people tell me it is not
possible- because it is HIS calling on my life)... I will be faithful
(even when it is tough and it is easier to doubt).

So this summer I will spend it in a cold (umm in more then one way burr
turn down the AC) office building working in the cooperate world...crazy
never thought you would hear me say those words...because reality said I
needed a job that would take care of me so I could pursue my
calling...this dream....this vision...

Alrighty then walk on my friends..dream big and don't be afraid to
follow those dreams even if they turn your life upside down and