28 December 2006

a christmas meme? whatever that is...

okay so someone sent me this in a 'tag' which i am still confused about...and i am kinda tardy...but it isn't new year's yet so i figure i still have time! so here it gos....
the Christmas meme:
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Chai please as egg nog is gross and I am allergic to chocolate
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Santa wraps…but Santa still comes…so life is good!
3. Colored Light on Tree/House or White? white on tree…don’t care on the house
4. Do you hang mistletoe? no reason to
5. When do you put your decorations up? haven’t put them up the last few years…for various reasons
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? prime rib with Yorkshire pudding…. if not with my family then sweet potatoes
7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? my green push peddle frog car that I got when I was 5. I grew up in Cheyenne, Wyoming- so I spent the first 3 months of ownership driving it in my basement- but man was it awesome. I think I even ate Christmas dinner sitting in that thing- would have slept in it had they let me.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? truth about Santa? you mean that he is a really busy man on Christmas eve and so we have to leave cookies and lactose free milk out for him? yep got that memo!
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yep- Jammies! and they always match my siblings
10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? with special-ness of course….how else?
11. Snow. Love it or dread it? hate it----well kind of…just cause it caused me not to get to see the fam this year…stupid closure or DIA for 3 days! GRRR
12. Can you ice skate? heck no
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? see #7
14. What’s the most important thing about Christmas to you? Celebrating the birth of our Savior…spending time with family and friends….blessing people for no reason with out getting caught
15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Snickerdoodles
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? tomato rice soup and cheese rolls on Christmas eve before going to Christmas eve service…or our 8 hour hearts or Mexican-train playing on Christmas day as a family
17. What tops your tree? a star
18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving.
19. What is your favorite Christmas song? umm if I can only pick one- O Holy Night
20. Candy Canes. Yuck or Yum? Yummy- but only in SMALL amounts!

26 December 2006

please pray....

today i recieved one of those phone calls that you never want to get. my dear friend Bud (pictured here with his grandson j.p. in august) found out on december 21st that he had a brain tumor- he had surgery today- it went well- but the news is not so great- it is cancer and it is gonna be tough- i don't have all the details yet- but that is of little importance anyway- i just wanted to ask you all to pray: pray for his recovery from surgery, for wisdom of his doctors from this point forward on which direction to go, for his wife Cozy, daughters Brandy and Toni (their husbands Pete and Travis) and for grandson J.P. (he is too little to understand what is going on-just that gpa-bud is not up playing) ... the road ahead will be a long and tough one...but with prayer it will be one that will be more managable....
thank you.....
for His renown alone!

22 December 2006

somethings just don't go as you plan....

so some of yall dream of a white christmas? well maybe you dreamed too much! so much so that it snowed and snowed and snowed in colorado and wyoming to the point that denver international airport was closed for 2.5 days.... so what some of you say...so what means that some 5600 people were stranded at DIA.... so what means that flights all across the US were all messed up... and so what means that for the first time in 33 years i will not be spending christmas with my family....it is crazy. ya know it would be a tad different if it were my choice. it would be a tad different if say i were on a mission trip serving others doing something of meaning- but nope it is just that i can't get to them....well i could--- you see southwest could get me rescheduled onto a flight on the 28th that would get me to denver on the 28th at 7pm which would get me to my parents at 9pm that night and my sister and dad have to leave for denver on the 30th as they have to be at dia on the 31st at 430am for a 615am flight...so you see...in reality...it really isn't worth the flight to see them for a day... grr all that white christmas....infact as i am typing this right now....on the radio that song is playing- i have never ever wanted to throw a radio across a room until now....... but no i shall resist...
so what shall i do?
i am back in midland... i am blessed...i do admit that - am not like so many people who don't have people to spend the holidays with- i have amazing friends who are more like family then many people who have family they wish they didn't have. so i am in midland with my second family- my God family- as we use to call ourselves when i lived here- I will make the best of it...and maybe this is what God wanted for me--- maybe there is something that is spose to happen- maybe there is a blessing here that I don't know- but there is a sadness too of not being with my dad right now that is tough as well... so for all of you that are with your famlies...enjoy it... love them and love them well... don't fight over the stupid stuff and love even the yucky hand made shirt that don't fit...because there are many people who can't be with family- our men and women who are fighting for our freedom and the freedom of others.... people who have no family left- or whos family don't want them or don't understand or claim them... their are people who are not free to celebrate this wonderful day of the birth of our Saviour we get to celerate... wherever you are... whoever you are with- REJOICE and GIVE THANKS...

okay... with that... i am off to find my happy place...
be blessed and bless someone for no reason but to bless!

join me in a journey in africa and PRAY!

my friends vernon, amber and titus burger are in sudan, africa where they will be in ministry until january 13. they have an amazing ministry in sudan to orphans and widows and those living in the villages and even out in the bush. they are joined this season by a small team as well. you can read about their amazing journey and hear about more specific ways to pray by visiting their blog at www.sudanskids.blogspot.com please join me and others in praying for them and with them for the orphans and widows in sudan and for the many people they will meet during their journey in sudan this season. their ministry is a unique and amazing ministry- and they are truly anointed and blessed to be apart of this ministry. won't you join me and others in praying for them? check out their journey...join their journey- PRAY!
as always be blessed to bless
and enjoy the journey in africa

18 November 2006

blessings come from the strangest places...aka...a view from the interpreters platform day 3 pt.2

so blessings truly come from the strangest places at the oddest times sometimes. today we took a few moments to go through the exhibit hall. if i am honest i usually avoid it--- so often i feel asulted when i go in there- you walk passed a booth and 5 people jump out and start talking to you all at once or you are walking by and things are shoved at you.... i am a simple shopper--- always have been. i like to look- i look 2 or 3 times then if i want to try something on i will- and to top things off i don't like large crowds in small spaces- so it is kinda a hard mix for me..... but today it was different because it wasn't for me..i was there for me- so in we go... we went to look for media presentation options- we stopped at media shout- it took awhile for anyone to talk with us (that was kind of surprising) but finally they did.... we looked at the program and asked the questions that needed to be asked and headed over to check out easy worship- it was time for their give-away of the day so we got tickets and waited though all that then vchurches was doing their deal...it was MADHOUSE...that was one of the things that drives me nuts....i will live without a ipod seriously....YIKES...so Judd gives up on the give-aways and goes back to easy worship to talk to them about the program to ask some questions. we wait to talk to this guy and ask the questions that he had. anyway- it was what was spose to be as Judd and his ministry with Deaf teens was richly blessed today by Easy Worship- when the guy heard about the ministry of Deaf Teen Quest and Judds ministry he wanted to bless the ministry with the program. it was truly a great gift for Judd and the ministry- and it was awesome to be there...that was worth the journey into the crazy world of the exhibit hall.....Thanks Easy Worship!!!!!!!!!

so tonight we had a break from interpreting so i sat in the green room and just soaked in worship and the message- it was nice just to sit and listen and take things in. starfield was truly amazing- wow. their sound is great- but their lyrics are truely anointed by God... they are so rich and full- beautiful. Mike Pilavachi gave the message tonight- he is amazing. I was transformed by his message 2 years ago in atlanta when he spoke. i was in such a dark place with my church at the time. they had told me right before i had left for the convention that the pastor might have it out for me...so i was in a desert place- felt like shattered glass that can't be put together again. his message that year was about being in the desert and finding water again....for me it was realizing that my shatterd glass self is shatterd sea glass--- ya know tumbled smooth in the water of the sea...or the water of his hands...anyway...i have held onto that message since then....i recall it often... so i was looking forward to tonight so much. ...tonight to no surprise he met me again right where i am- again i find myself in a place that is at times uncomfortable- and sticky. a place that is not exactly how i would like it. but God has me where he has me for a reason for a season and he will lead and let me know when and how. I am called to trust.....and if i get too ahead and sure ...he will let me know...it is called HUMILITY....Mike has this way of speaking softly and beautifuly over you that you dont' soon forget...it is amazing.

with that my brain is over full.... my body is tired...my arms are so weak they want to fall off and my left ear is STILL ringing from TFK....ugh.... but can we just say....what a day....what a day to stand with 4,000 other youth pastors....4,000 Jesus lovers just lovin him back....

walking with arms outstreached...

views from the interpreter platform pt3....halfway through day 3...right?

so no picture today because i am not on my computer...i am on a borrowed one right now but while i have 15 min to stop and just be i thought i would just stop....take a deep breath and collect my thoughts and share them with yall....

so brenda salter mcneil was the speaker this morning...and well to simply sum things up...she brought it! oh yes...wow! She preached on Jer.1- on how we are losing our identity in God and that causes us to lose sight of ourselves- it was so right on. she shared a clip from 'the lion king' and how simba losing sight of his father is the same as us losing sight of God- our Father- that if we look- REALLY look inside ourselves we will find our Father- He is there inside us- why? because we are part of the Creator himself...it was a beautiful message- a beautiful way to connect two stories- wow...that is forsure a convention cd that i am going home with- AMAZING! This morning was also our last time with the guys from dc*b- it was as usual amazing- they bring such an energy and feel to worship that is amazing...our deaf friends have enjoyed it so much... i do look forward to our time with starfield as well- just this time and place to be and soak in is amazing- and hey KUDOS to alex, marko, tic and the crew of ys for being so awesome to work with ....the deaf with deaf teen quest have been so blessed this year....and are looking forward to a relationship growing over the years.

on a fun side off the platform- we met a guy Doug from indiana- hearing guy that has a heart for deaf teens- not cause he can sign or anything- but because he sees a need and sees that so few people are reaching out- i knows about deaf teen quest- so anyway long story short instead of eating lunch today i talked with doug about youth ministry, deaf youth ministry, passion and life...it was well worth not eating a real meal....besides who am i to complain when people don't get to have meals at all....so i will sit and talk over eating any day....especially when it is convos like that...
okay interpreter duties call...need to get set lists etc for general sessions.... the job never ends...but i love it.....

oh hey ask marko about the belly dancers...i have pictures that i will share later

walking to the road that leads somewhere ....need directions? humm

NYWC day 2.....views from the interpreter platform....pt 2

wow what a day. i am beyond tired. as i sit in my bed i dream only of crawling under the covers and falling asleep- yet i am at the point that i am so tired that my body is beyond the ablity to sleep....CRAZY...but yes it happens.
today was a FULL day- beyond what you would expect- okay maybe not. we had 2 gs- phil visher from veggie world past was in the first gs with us- amazing! talk about a humble and gifted spirit. his message was very full of grace and mercy- had this underlining of forgivness- beautiful really. of course we had some fun stuff in gs1 as well- jared hall- great stuff- fun to watch...and tic, marko and jeanne (the new kid on the block) did a great job setting up the week...well the conference for us.... thousand foot krutch was the 'mini concert' umm wow...'interesting' is really all i can say there- it was truly too hard to understand to interpret and my new deaf friends decided to leave so we bailed on that one- we couldn't understand it at all- CRAZY... but of course my FAVORITE moment personally was getting to interpret worship with the guys from dc*b- the music is such a connecting point for all of us- a way for all of us to be together as one- they did my favorite song to sign- 'you are my joy'...the way it goes from song to sign...the meaning behind the words...for me i get this feeling that just builds up inside me....and last year i had a great experince with one of the guys that is here again this year over this song- anyway- just the experince and opportunity to interpret worship- yet then marko pulls one on me and makes a coment on about watching me sign....it is one of those things...it is kind of uncomfortable to sign a coment about yourself...anyway...it was a anointed moment---- the worship time...

enter gs 2 donald miller...and i must make a confession- i have not always liked everything i have heard donald miller say- i have read his books- liked 80% of what i read- but sometimes get frustrated wondering if he realizes the impact he has on young adults/college students because of conversations i have had with some of my students...and some of the scewed ideas they have that they have gotten from donald miller.....yet after tonight.....he has gained so much more of my respect back....okay confession over......
so tonight...interpreter world got fun work out.....my interpreter friends got to sign for the horn guy...did yall see him before at NYWC? or hey americas got talent? yeah ...that was funny.... and well building 429... again intresting... ROCK AND ROLL baby! hahaha and then we got to meet Linda the 'fly in' which is always one of my favorite things- i love that YS takes time to hear stories and bring people here for conventions that wouldn't be here other wise...it is always fun to hear their stories... it was fun to see a video and get that connection-and well to hear stories of their ministry and life...but umm i think i could have lived with out the 'spin cycle' story...laundry will never be the same...humm
dc*b brought it again- hoe-down and all! woohoo! it was so fun and amazing. it was great to sign a song i grew up on....go wyoming! haha my dad would be so proud...if it wasn't so late i would call him....hahaha...
lastly...donalds message- WOW! i could listen to it a few more times there was so much to soak in. (and well interpreting takes so much out of you that my brain was about gone by then) he had some great things to say and to really think about. about where we have been and where we are going as the church...and our motive about why we are doing it....very amazing. i also really appreciated his honesty and being so real and raw. he wasn't ashamed....he didn't appologize for what he was saying.... he didnt' hide behind his message ...yet he also didn't get in the face and shove it either.... so much tonight i kept saying 'amen' ....'amen' ..... so okay.... i agree more than i thought....Thank you donald for a great message that i will spend more time with in the days to come....thank you for challenging me...

and with that my hands..my brain....and my eyes need to REST.....
enjoy the journey

16 November 2006

day one (really 3) NYWC...a view from the interpreters platform

so it is day one...of the madness that is the nywc...i love it....but have to admit i am already so drained! not a good way to start the convetion time off...but i have faith that i will be back to my super go go self soon. i arrived monday night to help begin set up tuesday as part of the vol team- this year i am heading up the interpreter team as cincy is serving as ys's 'Deaf friendly' convention. we have 3 deaf youth workers coming and i am stoked to be working with them and the other interpreters. chris and stacey are back this year as interpreters and judd who was here last year is back...it will be GREAT fun....we are not interpreting any CCC which i must admit with how i feel right now is SO okay with me.....for now i am just running around helping out where I can...getting set lists....checking lyrics to make sure we know what it is they are really saying....making sure rooms are set for the seminars that they will be in....working with the artists and speakers so they are comfortable with working with interpreters in their seminars and doing whatever else i can to make things run as smoothly as i can for the great folk at ys...i tell ya i have worked with a lot of organizations through the years and ys has really stepped up to the plate to make this a great experince not only for all the hearing youth workers fixin to converge (and who are and have converged) on cincy...but they have done an amazing job to make sure that the 3 Deaf youth workers coming have just as great as an experince as everyone else....hats off to ys...especially alex who has been working behind the sceens with me on this for the last few months...wow....ys cares....but we all knew that...okay....enough...back to work....i have taken my 15 min brake now.....the whip is being cracked :-) hahaha see yall in cincy....come down front and say hey to us!

enjoy the journey....and hey if you have extra socks...yeah i didn't pack any and my feet are FREEZING....DANG!
Be blessed

14 November 2006

One Word.....

You can only use one word...
Not as easy as you may think.
1. Yourself: Freak
2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend: imaginary?
3. Your hair?: funky
4. Your mother?: teacher
5. Your Father?: best-friend
6. Your Favorite Item: none
7. Your dream last night: painting
8. Your Favorite drink: chai
9. Your Dream Car: xtera
10. The Room You Are In: hotel
12. Your fear: dark
13. What you want to be in 10 years: willing
14. Who you hung out with last night?: joe
15. What You're Not?: famous
16. Muffins: scone?
17: One of Your Wish List Items: missions
18: Time: 9:50
19. The Last Thing You Did: email
20. What You Are Wearing: jammies
21. Your Favorite Weather: warm
22. Your Favorite Book: Starving Jesus
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Mexican
24. Your Life: insane
25. Your Mood: yeah…
26. Your body: pain
27. Who are you thinking about right now? students
29. What are you doing at the moment?: “House”
30. Your summer: interesting
31. Best part of your life: Jesus

01 November 2006

fighting the let down....

after a big weekend it always happens. never fail- the let down. slam! whap! smack! right in the face it hits. this past weekend was our last youth sunday of the year- and one of the best we have done. but it was also the one i put the most hours of work into as well. WOW- 67 hours from wednesday morning until saturday night- it was crazy- but so so worth it really. the students did an amazing job. the sanctuary looked amazing- i really believe we got the message across that i felt God wanted us to get across...now the question is did it sink in? did people listen not just with their ears but with their hearts? and if they listened with their hearts...what's next? because you see if they listened...i mean really listened things should start happening- rancid water should become a thing of the past.....but you see that is the challenge...the problem. so manytimes when the youth get up to lead worship people think it is just so 'cute' and 'precious' ....so did they really listen- because i can tell you the youth ...they got it...they understood the point of the message- we spent a month really unpacking and talking about what it was all about- time will only tell....so here is the question we asked...."what does your heart beat for?" what is it that God uniquly created you to do and what are you going to do about it? ....
with that...i am off to my prayer corner...gots a heavy heart right now

26 October 2006

stand up.....stand up for what you believe in....I believe in GOD!

so it has been a wild week. and a week full of short sleep and crazy dreams. do you remember your dreams? i must say i am one of the lucky- or sometimes unlucky ones who remembers almost all my dreams. but this past week i have been having this same dream almosty every night. a little bit of it changes....but it is the same one.....and it sarts with this little cartoon sarting Veggies....HELP!
VeggieTales were first introduced to me when i started in full time youth ministry back in 1997 in walla walla, washington where they thought it would be fun to EVERY summer host Veggie Town VBS...don't get me wrong. the children of the church and commuinty loved it...but when you are part of the music team and told you get to dress as "larryboy" and lead singing well lets just say it was not my favorite moments of my day....but i will say i have always liked the videos....yes when i have had to watch the sameones over and over and over they got old...but i have always liked them all the same.....
so enter the story of Rack, Shack, and Benny....you know the real story right? hope so....if not...you know the King Neb? and the Golden idols he wanted everyone to bow down to? well this king had chocolate bunnies that everyone could eat and that you had to bow down to. well R,S,& B won't do it...so well into the fire they go...and you guess it they don't burn up....well enter my twisted brain...in my dream....i am all of a sudden in the veggie tale...yup ...me and all the animation...CRAZY....and it is me....my friend alex...and my friend vince...we are Rack, Shack, and Benny... but it isn't Bunnys we are asked to bow down to but this situation that i am dealing with right now.....and not a king but a pastor....CRAZY....so every night i am having this dream....and sometimes the friends change to other people....different friends...there to stand beside me to support me with what is happening....the strangest thing....is that who ever i am with we are all singing the CRAZY insane song that they sing in that show..in the Rack, Shack, and Benny episode..."stand up, stand up for what you believe in, believe in, I believe in God.....He's the one to back you up....." and on the song goes.....CRAZY.....
so here is my one wish....can i please have a NONVEGGIETALE night tonight? just one...it is starting to scare me.
so more on what happened later....just had to share the veggie tale crazy with ya
blessings and may you have a veggie tale dream tonight!
off to zzzzzzzzzland....

12 October 2006

be thou my vision and shooting stars

"Be thou my vision o Lord of my heart. Naught be all else to me save that thou art. Thou my best thought by day or by night, waking or sleeping thy presence, my light.
Be thou my wisdom and thou my true word I ever with thee and thou with me Lord; Thou my great Father and I Thy true Son, Thou in my dwelling and I with thee one.
Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise. Thou mine inheritance, now and always; Thou, and Thou only, first in my heart. High King of heaven, my treasure Thou art.
Be thou my vision o Lord of my heart. Naught be all else to me save that thou art. Thou my best thought by day or by night, waking or sleeping thy presence, my light.
High King of heaven, my victory won, may I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun; Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, Still be my vision, O Ruler of all."

monday night as i was driving home from austin so tired....on the verge of getting sick i was blaring the cd of a friends band -brayline- (check them out www.brayline.com) that he gave me at the convention. he wanted to know what i thought of it while i was there. so i gave it a few good listens- and it is good....really it is....i didn't just tell him that because he is my friend....it is good...quality really! so anyway- i was fighting the want to sleep....so i pop it in...turn it up...and listen....not just okay i am listening to this guy sing...but i found myself really listening to the music...the words...the cd only had one original (and it is AMAZING) so they are songs i know...and usually being a person who LOVES to sing- especially worship music...the fact that i was just listening and not singing along---it was odd---especially since i was fighting sleep....anyway...so here i am driving down this winding road....bad winding road- crazy really. I keep seeing deer and such on the side of the road and i find myself praying to God that he will keep them on the side of the road and not infront of me. well on i drive...and i am on this back road and it is really really dark...no lights anywhere and be thou my vision starts and my heart starts to pound in my chest- its strange really. i keep getting this urgencey- this need to pull over....but i keep thinking no push on you HAVE TO GET HOME...you are almost there...but my heart feels like it is going to pound out of my chest...it almost hurts yet doesn't i am tell you it is the oddest feeling i have ever had in a car. i can't tell you how many times i have sang be thou my vision- i love it...it is a great hymn- but for some reason on that streach of road monday night it was brand new. i hit repeat on my cd player and the song starts again and at this point my heart breaks and i begin to weep...it was so overwhelming....yes truly at this point i should have pulled over--hindsight lizzy...but on i drove...i am not sure at what point i started singing but i did...at first i remember looking in my back seat thinking someone was in the car and then realizing it was my voice (okay promise i am not losing it) that i was hearing- but just didn't sound like me...can't explain it. then this strange peace....you see God has planted this vision on my heart...it has been there for a while- and i am both scared and excited.....nervous and elated.....fearful and joyful....spastic and calm.....i don't remember doing it but i must have hit repeat again because the song started again and i was just driving calmly and looking out...asking God to make clear the vision...to lead the way and to allow me to FEAR AND JUMP at the same time...many people have seen the vision and told me they get it and support it with me....but i know many won't and the ones i fear won't the most is my family....but even then i pray for strength to keep walking out to the edge to jump allowing the breeze of Jesus to catch me. so as a was driving and praying and Brayline was singing the words of the song out of this dark almost starless night came one flash......a falling star......a leap of faith? a jump into the fear of unknown? trusting Jesus to be the breeze to hold up the vision that was cast in his sails? i find myself more dizzy than normal right now....how to be all here when wanting to be all there....
one foot in front of the other.....
oh the journey of faith....i really want to talk to those who say it is dull.....they just don't get it do they ....hehehehe

be blessed...and look up....

08 October 2006

Austin NYWC and little sleep

so what is it about the nywc and lack of sleep...oh yes....friends....gotta love getting hooked up with your friends you haven't seen in a LONG time and just getting to chat. this is my favorite time of the year.....now if i could just find a way to stock pile sleep....grr hehehe okay on that note...off to zzz land....more tomorrow....right i always say that...but i am gonna really try this time.
off to dizzy dream land...

17 August 2006

what can You, make of me?

a friend of mine, matt neely, on his cd "stronger than gravity" has a song called "what can you make of me". it has always been a song that speaks right to my heart. i have used it in slide shows for mission trips, i have had sign choirs of youth and children sign it, i have used it in sermons and as background music for commuion.....but lately the song has been playing over and over in my heart at expected and unexpected times. it pops up with no warning...i will be sitting at my desk, driving down the street, watching tv, painting, laying in bed, taking a shower and the words will come spilling out.
sometimes the words bring a smile to my heart that makes its way to my face...other times the words bring tears to my eyes and leaves me wondering if i will ever truly know the answer to the question my soul is asking over and over and longing for an answer.
it is crazy at 33 truly i should know right? many times i joke with my students that Jesus died at 33, so i should get to retire at 33- but i have always said with in every joke is an ounce of truth- that truth? the fact that i am burned out, tired, emotionally and spiritually drained and don't know where to turn to get charged back up. i'm pased the point where some convention is going to 'fill me up'....it is much deeper then just needing time away and being with people who 'get it'....i am not sure i can see my own heart clearly anymore. so i find myself asking so many questions....
....who am i?....
....who have i become?....
....am i really worthy of the call placed on my heart?....
....is youth ministry truly that call still?....
....what is the bigger picture?....
....am i a failure because of what surrounds me?....
....can God really use me, a broken, twisted, used up, cracked, chipped, wasted, ugly vessel?....
....if my creativity is my biggest gift and it is the most stifled am i being true to my calling?....
....when is enough, enough?....
....am i worthy of his love and grace?....
....how long do you have to suffer before you are allowed to say done?....
....is it me?....
....God what can you make of me?....
tough questions....and i ain't got the answers...i just know matt's song keeps coming up again and again....usually makes me feel good...sometimes makes me cry....sometimes frustrates me...but more than anything it is my prayer to Jesus- what can you make of me? what do you want me to do....
for now i keep walking...but the circles seem really small and if you know anything about walking in small circles it makes you dizzy- UGH! i kinda over being dizzy right now:-)
enjoy the journey
what can you make of me
you made sarah laugh, you david dance, made esther a beauty to hold the king in her hands.
you made simon a rock, and old laz live again, you took saul an enmy and made paul a friend. i've seen what you've made of them
what can you, make of me? what can you, make of me?
you made abraham trust and job lose it all, you made soloman so smart it caused him to fall. you made thomas believe and john write a book. you made a soldier alive by the life that he took. it's all right there in your book.
what can you, make of me? what can you, make of me?
they say it took dust and a rib to make adam and eve- well i don' t have much more, and i dare to believe that you are not finished with me.
still i want to know: what can you, make of me- i'm asking you Jesus. what can you, make of me? what can you, make of me? I want to know, tell me. what can you, make of me?
you gave handle the song, you made kingdom prevail, you gave martin luther a hammer and a nail, you made billy crusade, showed deitrech the cost, you emptied teresa to make room for the lost.
tell me what can you, make of me? I want to know. tell me what can you, make of me?

01 August 2006

invisible neon signs....

so today has been one of those days that when you tell someone about it they look at you in disbelief and say...'yeah right...that didn't really happen".....oh how i wish it were true. so really today began yesterday- yup one of those LONG days- i drove to houston on sunday and spent the night with some friends who recently moved there and then they brought me to the airport to catch my flight to spokane washington where i am off to the wedding of one of my former students from my first full time ministry in walla walla. well i get to the air port- check in to find out that they (frontier air lines) are having a HUGE mechanical issue and so i am going to really miss my flight (what does that mean? 'really miss your flight'? can you only kinda miss your flight?) so they tell me they have it all set up they will put me up in a hotel for the night in denver and i will be on an early morning flight to spokane...okay no big deal right- ah yeah.....so after all is said and done i don't get into denver until 11pm...and don't get to the marriot until almost midnight...i set up my wake up call and crawl into bed for the short 5 hours of sleep i would be getting.....well enter screwed up hotel issues....my wake up call never comes and i wake up 10 min before my flight is to leave the airport and the hotel is 25 min from the airport....after fighting with the hotel, getting ready and getting to the air port frontier does all they can....but what does that mean....a WHOLE DAY SITTING IN DENVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT! UGH! i arrived at 9:30 this morning and i will leave at 9:40 tonight.....tha tis a LONG time to sit in one airport- and to beat all it seems i have this invisible neon sign above my head that says "please come and talk to me about eveything in your life that could be ore is happening---i care and i want to listen." reality is i have been to the restroom a few times today and i can't find the sign anywhere- but the needy business man who just fought with his wife about the fact that he is staying in denver for a few extra days for some r&r after this leg of his buisness trip is over saw it....as did the woman who is not satisfied with her current job but the pay and perks are so good she can't give it up...besides she will be divorced soon and her boss will be too....no to mention my trip through security this morning where i get the wand and the pat down and they can't figure out what sent the machine off yet the guy with the 19 facial periceings goes right through.....give me a break....i could use a hot tub, a beverage and the heck out of DIA! oh who said flying was so much easier? i could have driven to washington state by now....UGH! what a day....and if one more person comes up and dumps their life story on me i may just scream and run in circles.....at least then i will see a different part of this airport....

25 May 2006


I recently was given the true gift and opportunity to create an art piece for a friend of mine to represent her recent trip to Zambia, Africa.

anytime i create an art piece i work really hard to make sure the art represents the person it is being created for and is true to the original pictures.

for this piece i wanted the canvases to represent her journey- so i took 9 10"x10" canvases and laid them out as you see. they are connected going down- 3 canvases.

i took her pictures and laid them out and then when looking at them the words to the old hymn "rescue the perishing" came to mind....so those are the words that cover the art piece. you read canvas to canvas- left to right then down to next row.

i chose to use gold and silver paint to represent two precious metals that have to be refined by fire. just like God refines us by the fires of life. i know that this trip for her was a time of 'refining' of her heart...so i wanted the journey of the art to truly represent that.....this was one of my favorite pieces i have done to date. i will post my past art pieces soon.

05 May 2006


There is this great little book that was published in 1991 and is no longer in print...it is AMAZING! "Mrs. Rosey Posey and the chocolate cherry treat" the book is about how you view yourself- the value you place on yourself and the VALUE that Jesus sees in each of us. the message is amazing- it was written for young children- but a great tool for youth ministry.

in the book mrs. rosey posey asks natalie olivia if she would rather be a used paper plate, a plain old dinner plate or a fine china plate.....what a great image to use with students.

so i have this friend who owns the book ( i have looked into getting it...but finding it used and the price of $52 has stoped me since the book sold for $3.99--- i may give in one day soon) and likes to present it to girls. so i had a 8th grade girls weekend (only 2 of my 8 came- but we charged ahead) and we spent the weekend talking about our identity- the worlds view on how we should live, look and be...the challenges that await in high school and who we want to become. we went to jane's house saturday night and enjoyed treats and the great story of mrs. rosey posey....now if i could just find the book somewhere and not have to sell a kidney to afford it....that would be amazing!

I (a meme) by Lizzy

okay so i was 'tagged' by mindi to do this- it has taken me awhile cause i just don't get it...really i don't knwo how this whole tag deal works- am i lame or what...but here goes!

I AM: a youth pastor, artist, and sinner in need of God's love and grace
I WANT: to start a camp where youth ministries can learn how to do short term missions better and create a place where teens who don't have it good at home can come and live- my dream would be called "Possibilty Place"- where dreams and reality meet and grow
I WISH: i had the money to make Possiblity Place happen and the know hows to do it!
I HATE: to see people hurt- physically or emotionally
I LOVE: my job- working with teens, doing mission work, living for Jesus
I MISS: my friends! Especially: Greg, Mindi, Tori, Martha and Janice
I FEAR: bad storms- both those that happen in the sky (YIKES) and the bad storms of life that attack your soul.
I HEAR: the heart beat of a dream
I WONDER: if i am truly living passionatly for Jesus and following His call in my life
I REGRET: allowing a situation to destroy my identity- trusting people who don't deserve it
I AM NOT: a quitter- even though that would be easier at times
I DANCE: in my dreams- as often as i can
I SING: all the time
I CRY: for others pain and sorrow....and for broken hearts
I AM NOT ALWAYS: right.....who is...but i am willing and trying to learn
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: art that speaks of the AWE of Jesus
I WRITE: what is beating in my heart
I CONFUSE: lots!
I NEED: to allow my dreams to guide me- to not fear any more
I SHOULD: dream more and dream big
I START: many many projects
I FINISH: 1/2 of them...the ones that i am passionate about

i don't know who to tag....so join in if you want...heck does anyone even read this blog?

Flat Stanley Visits Texas!

so yesterday in the mail i recieved a small package from a friend of mine in florida. i was a bit confused at first because it was her bday this week and if anything i should be sending her stuff.
so i get in my car to head to the office and in typical fashion i open my mail as i am driving down the road- YES I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE SAFEST THING TO DO!- so i pop open the package and out slides flat stanely- woo hoo i have company :-) haahaha.
to be honest i am excited about flat stanley- i love to help kids out with projects and how fun is this anyway. so yesterday flat stanely came with me to the high school for the yearly talent show. some of my students were taking part so it was even more fun. well at the close of the event one of the bands (with some of my students) played people out of the area- and flat stanely got to be part of the band for this number. here flat stanley plays the guitar with Maleko- Rock on Dude!

21 April 2006



Sometimes i wonder where all my time goes. what exactly have i done with my day? what have i really gotten done? reality is that on the days that i wonder this-- i usually feel like the picture attached...yup like a ...umm....DONKEY...standing in a field (i took this pic in mexico on a recent mission trip...maybe more on that later). there are 2 reasons i feel this way- 1. well because i realize i am a DONKEY as i have wasted my day and not accomplished anything great....or 2. because i am a DONKEY for doubting that i have accomplished anything--- because hello i got a lot done....but really lately i have felt like a DONKEY because i have this blog and haven't written a dang thing forever...i promise i am back...my ramblings are back....down with the DONKEY!

back to my walkin in a circle and painting