the missing friend

so i try hard to stay in touch with people....not always so easy.....but i do my best- well i would like to think i do- i guess i could do better...but that is not what this is about....i have taken a side trip...excuse me while i get back on the original road......

i LOVE photographs...old....new....black and white....color....sephia....glossy....matte.....i love what the potographs represent.....they are pictures of a time frozen forever....some show faces.....some show land...but all of them tell a story.... (like this one of a friend and his son on a boat ride in florida....it tells more about the people then the event...)

if you come to my home...or to my office....or just glace through my bible you will find pictures....some of faces...some of land...some that are black and white....some that are in color....i have cut some to fit a space...i have enlarged others to scream a story.....reguardless....pictures are everywhere......and i am always looking for new ones....i go nowhere without at least one camera......... yet today the pictures that surround me with joy....have also brought a stab of sadness to my heart........sitting here at my desk the faces of so many stare at me....people who i have met over the years...students who have been a part of a ministry.......as i look at the faces i can tell you things about each person....yet a few pictures are harder to talk about....they are the faces of people who i don't see regularly....some i wonder if i will ever spend time with them again.....then there is a face of a friend who impacted my life in amazing ways........yet this picture is the one that haunts me the most....see i haven't talked to this friend in a while....not for lack of trying....for awhile they couldn't be found- didn't want to be found- but one day i did find them....yet i think they didn't want to be found....the phone call remains unreturned....it is sad really....

you see i believe that as we walk this journey called life God blesses us by bringing people in and out of our lives....some of these people are meant to be there only for a moment....a small corner of the great picture of what God is wanting us to see and experience....(i am sure you all know the type of people i am talking about...you might share names and a conversation yet you know that will be all it ever is).....but others you know without doubt that your paths have been crossed for a greater moment then a quick shared story. your lives will forever be linked in some way....these are the people you strive to stay in contact with...you work at the relationship....they are also the ones that if you go 6 months between seeing each other it is like that time didn't happen when you get together....and those are the people that when they go missing from your life you wonder about them lots.....so this is where i am with this friend....i have taken most pictures of them down....they have become too hard to look at daily....just a reminder of a friend that is missing....i keep a few of them up....not that i need them to recall the face, the places, the memories and the times shared....but it is a comfort to glance and see their face......but some days it is like i am looking at the milk carton picture...or the big billboards of children and people who are missing.....i always feel for the people whos lives have been interupted by the missing person in thier life...unlike them i know where my friend is....i know they are alright....so in that way i am blessed....but i would still like to file a missing friend report today....just want them to know that they are loved.........missed.........they made a impression in my life....that won't change.....

so why does God cause our lives to cross if some encounters will only bring pain in the end? it is a process of life...a process of finding who we really are.....no matter who we are and where we go ultimatly we are shaped by our past and our present....and truthfully we are never alone on the journey........God is there....and if you ever doubt that look at the faces that surround you.....look at the pictures on your wall...in your office....and if you don't have pictures go grap a camera and start getting those moments of time............

well i need to go run in circles.......
happy trails!

so in april i was in austin visiting a few of my old students who are now college students...anyway you can see these posters all over austin.....well the unedited version that is....the one that reads 'american for peace*help stop war'.....you see them everywhere....so boldly proclaiming the message.....but see i found this 'edited' version of the popular poster on the wall of a very bold college student. does it strike you as interesting that a college student sees beyond a message on a poster? he gets it.....it isn't about the war....i don't think you will find one person who thinks war is good....it is tough it is hard....but terrorism is a crazy thing.....it is big.....it reaches into the hearts and homes of everyone.....instead of being against the war why not be in support of those who are working for us....fighting for freedom....fighting to end terrorism. i can't say i am for the war....but i also won't say i am against it. instead i will choose to pray for those who are fighting and defending america.....so for now....i must say.....i am an american against terrorism! pray for our leaders....pray for our soldiers........pray for today and tomorrow.....

what is reality?

i have a confession- i like reality tv....i do....there i said it....i know that makes me kinda lame- but well there is something that i enjoy about it, can't for sure tell you what that is...but i enjoy it from time to time....

so last night i settled in to watch a little tv and just vegg some more. the day was a 'blank stare' day so i knew not to expect too much of myself. so i settled in and turned on the tub- hit my dvr button and prepared to watch 'the scholar' and feel dumber then dumb....i mean come on those kids know stuff that i am sure was never taught when i was in high school...or maybe i was asleep in that class....at anyrate these kids have brains that i can only dream of having....yet as i sat and watched the last show of the series i found myself a little shocked by what i heard them saying. over the last few weeks they have had team challenges and 'captain quizes' that have tested not only their brain smarts but their heart smarts, their integrity....they were used to test the 'value' of each student. so last night as i watch it hits me- these kids are stressin over winning because it means a full ride to the college of their choice. when you listen to them talk you see that their identity is in if they win or not...and if they have lost already they talk so down on themselves.....so this is my question- have we gone to far? is it insane to be asking high school graduates to go on national television and compete for a full ride scholarship...to be known as 'the scholar'? i mean come on- you should have heard them talk about themselves and thier team mates. you should have heard the 'scholarship commitee' talk about these students like they were statistics to be measured into socitey...why is there so much pressure on students to be the best, the brightest, star athlete....when did it become nolonger acceptable to just be a high school student enjoying school and doing their best? when did the desire to be come the top inch out the students who have lots going for them but may not score perfect on the sat? just where is our society taking education? who decided what a 'top' student looked like?

so as i watched the show last night (fastforwarding through the comercials-thank goodness for DVR) i see a glimpse of the newest reality tvshow to hit the tube...brat camp....hummm i can't go there...i won't be watching this one.....we have finally gone to far.....we have gone from having the 'top' compete for who is the best....the toppest of tops....and now we have children who are struggling in life....who are challenged and hunted by thoughts and expeinces of life...and we have put them on national television and called it of all things 'brat camp'- these are children- the very beloved children of God- who need help- who society has called out....so here they are....down....out....and on national television for our viewing pleasure....you know what....the hurts of the world are reality....the war in iraq is reality......families not able to afford education is reality....people who struggle that is reality.....but when do we say enough is enough and pull the plug on societies desire to watch the lives of others so they can say 'well atleast that isn't me' or 'i am better then that'......so i guess i have to rethink somethings.....i like reality tv..i love survivor, amazing race, hells kitchen, and was intrested in what took place on the scholar....but brat camp is too much too far too real....

humm well back to my reality of work and more work......
happy trails!

the blank stare

so today i have the 'blank stare' down.

i was gone all week with my students at a youth event- it was good....but sleep escaped me- always seems to when i am off with my students. it was a good week- we were in oklahoma and stayed at OU- it was okay- the beds were bad....the food was not too hot (yet scary cause for college food it was good).....the walking was the tough part. we clocked a min of 5 miles a day in the nice heat of norman...but it was worth it. lots of great worship- lots of great speakers- and some sic concerts and such-over all pretty good week....

the close of my week was celebrated by spending all day saturday at 6 flags- woo hoo- okay so it would have been LOADS more fun had i slept the week past- but still it was fun and we got to see third day in the events of the day as well...and even managed to ride a coaster....

so that is what has led to today and the 'blank stare'
no matter how hard i try i can't seem to get all the areas of my brain to fire at the same time- it is strange. it has been a day kinda like a bad horror movie...yeah know the ones where they show the person 'watching what is happening' but are not a part of what is taking place? yeah that is where i am- i few times i have had the start of a great thought but somewhere between thought and putting a pen to paper to write it down my brain misfires and the end result is the blank stare......so with that.....i am calling it a day- i'm off- headin home- excited to see my puppies and even more excited about finding my favorite jammies waiting for me and then putting something mindless on the tv and perfecting the 'blank stare'- wonder if i can get a award for it?

happy trails!