...today my heart broke........

it was crazy....... i was at the wesley foundation for lunch (our church feeds the college crew that shows up on thursdays-- it is free--and usually pretty good--what a deal for them- never had anything like this when i was in college..) i go each week just to hang out and talk- it is a great break to my week. each week either myself, one of our pastors or a college student gives a short devo...well this week was my week....and to be honest i just wasn't in the right place- didn't have the energy or 'want-to' to do it, yet it was my turn. so that morning as i was getting ready to go i decided to pull the devo i did for our worship team last week.....

i have been reading louie giglios book 'i am not....but i know I AM' - i first heard louie give a talk on this subject a few years back at the national youth workers convention. it was/is a message that i go back to often...infact i will admit to 'liberating' the idea of the message and using it in my own ministry.... so when the book came out i was quick to order it- like what usually happens with me...i had a stack of 'books to read' sitting on my desk and finally made it to this one a few weeks back..... so the start of the book is based on looking at moses at the burning bush when he oh so boldly asks God what His name is.....I AM ....which means we are all names 'i am not' (really this is more then the readers digest version so go get the book and read it for yourself it is great...will really knock you in the head) i currently am stuck on this section of the book....I AM vs i am not.... so i used that in my worship team meeting and we discussed a lot about being sure that I AM is always the center....always the reason...always the leader of our worship...we are not.... it was good....so i figured i would just use the same deal and just leave the words for the college kids to stir over in their minds- (okay yes it was an easy way to just do the devo without doing the time....but wait....God knew this needed to be the message...read on!)

...so come with me back to the wesley center......

time comes for the devo-i get up...read exodus 3 and then the 4.5 pages of the book....we pray.... i am done....they go back to eating i go back to hangin and talkin... well i am standing by the ping pong table talking with some guys playin...jokin around....and this gal walks up. she isn't a student...she works at the college. but she has a story...........(we all have a story)...and something about me made her want to tell it.

things have happened in her life...some would say they were unfair....but that isn't what caused my heart to break- what caused it break was her telling me about being at church- in a sunday school class and out of ignorance someone in the class made a very judgmental and harsh statement about people who are in prison and how there is no hope for them so why minister to them. you see this person made not only a very ingnorant statement- but without knowing she squished this gal flat. her husband is in prison- she told me she hasn't been back. she admitted that it is her and she shouldn't have allowed it to stop her from being in worship- but she felt and feels so judged. .....here is why my heart broke.........

out of ignorance a statement was made. a statement that is direct opposit what Jesus did...what He called us to do.... and a statement that i am sure was made in ignorance and fear built a wall between this gal and her Father in heaven- instead of walking along side her and showing her love, support, and encouragement. my heart breaks everytime someone walks away from the church because someone inside the walls....someone who thinks they have the answers.......who acts like they have life all together.....speaks in a place where only truth should be declared ...and throws bricks faster then they can bake. i want to sit down with people like this and just read the Word.....encourage them to open their hearts and eyes to the view that lies outside their little picture of life.........i want to encourage people to become the wood, nails, hammer and hands that builds the bridge for people who stand just outside the church ....for people who run from the church....a bridge that leads to the cross.....the Father....the giver of life and love....the protector....the very hands of mercy and grace......

so today my heart broke and my journey slowed down...and instead of being dizzy i was sad....but i also am so thankful. thankful that today was my day to give the devotion...that today i was too tired to do something else...something that i hadn't done....i am thankful that God has blessed people like Louie to see stories we were rasied on with new eyes....that we hear the story again for the first time..... i am thankful that something about me on this day comforted a person enough that they could come and talk to me....i am thankful that God would use me...as unworthy and unable to do it as i am....i am thankful that my day was slow....that i had nothing else on my plate....i am thankful that i took the time to listen........Jesus is merciful i shared with her....He cares more then anyone you will ever look in the eyes....

she has hope now she says.....she is bringing her daughter to our youth event friday night.... may we all be merciful tomorrow. may we all shine Him with out any agenda but to shine Him from our hearts..........may our broken hearts flow of His love, mercy and grace.....

back to the journey......one foot infront of the other........slowly...yet with HOPE

the collision has arrived.............

...........and it was/is freakin brilliant!

do you have it yet? if not- what the heck are you doing? stop now....go get it.....it is truly a treat of yumminess for the ears.....it is classic crowder- not just pushing the envelope with each new cd...but recreating how the freaking thing goes together....

so spent the night in wacko-waco at the release party/concert- robbie seay band=stinkin nails (another cd to go get if you don't got) shane and shane=amazing .....and then .... the crowder crew- freakin brilliant---truly brilliant.....the whole night amazing....well minus the HEAT- hello like 100 in waco today...think it was 99 inside ubc....lots of bodies...lots of sweat....lots of amazing tunes...lots of love....and best of all ....lots of HIS GLORY!

but now i am tired....beat....exhausted....yet freakin stoked and full of joy.....ahh nothing like a great night of amazing worship of the ONE- Jesus- to cause you to drift off to dream land smiling and humming....or after tonight and one funky song....whistling...but well you gots to get the cd to understand that.....oh yeah....welcome back rock opera! SWEET......
night!
happy trails............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

rescue the perishing.............

care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save.....

So it was written a long time ago...1870 to be exact- but the words have been ringing over and over in my heart since katrina made land fall and as we watched rita prepare to hit.

i was doing some visiting in midland over labor day weekend and was told i needed to hear this hymn that was done in the church service the week before- before katrina hit- before we knew what we now see.

a couple had taken the song and arranged it a little differently- added to the chours gave it a bridge- but the truth of the words rang out just like they must have back in 1870 when Fanny Crosby wrote it- a call to all- a plea- a comand- a duty..........

i keep coming back to the words- "rescue the perishing, care for the dying, snatch them in pity from sin and the grave; weep over the erring one, lift up the fallen, tell them of Jesus the mighty to save. .....rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save."....

how? what can i do? pray- sure been there doing that....but what can i physically do? how can my hand reach out?

"Though they are slighting him, still he is waiting, waiting the penitent child to receive; plead with them earnestly, plead with them gently; he will forgive if they only believe. .......rescue the persishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save."

life is a precious gift- i have been glued to fox news over the past weeks- watching- looking- crying- seeing the devistation and heartbreak on the faces of so many. their questions ring out in my mind........"WHY?" ...... i have been relieved to see that many people are not trying to answer that question with smugness- with "the answer"- instead i have seen (on the most part) compassion. compassion on the faces of those who have gone to help....compassion on the faces of those who are reaching out.....compassion- it is a beautiful thing in the midst of dispare and horror.....

"down in the human heart, crushed by the tempter, feelings lie buried that grace can restore; touched by a loving heart, wakened by kindness, chords that were broken will vibrate once more.......rescue the persishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save...... Rescue the perishing, duty demands it; strength for thy labor the Lord will provide; back to the narrow way patiently win them; tell the poor wanderer a Savior has died.....rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save!"

how will you be a part of the "rescue" mission? i am trying to figure that out myself right now- how can my hands reach out....how can i wash?

rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save!