sick joke them alarm clocks!

so it has been 4 weeks since my move back to midland...and the de-programing and re-programing is a slow and on going process. t is so strange. there are still moments on sunday evenings where i will glance at the clock and have a panic attack as i think i have missed and/or am late to youth. then i have the sweetest picture of two of my girls from s'ville all dressed up for prom on my desk that they gave me as i left town.... i look at it every day and i would be lying if i didn't admit to a wave of sadness washing over me. ...then this week i got the 'application for nywc vol staff' in my email inbox...which has always been the highlight of my year...and well this will be the FIRST time in 7 years that i will not be at the convention....and the first time in 6 years that i will not be at at least 2 convention--- i have volunteered with them for the last 6 years... everything from head qrts...to registration...to interpreting... it is so hard to admit that this year i won't be there... i may have to find a 'aa' type group meeting to attend during those times... that will be the real withdrawl... during that time it was the time i caught up with some of the friends i only get to see that time a year... UGH.. sad sad sad... little heart breaking... then I read on my buddy marko's blog late last night about the passing of Lee (from ted and lee) ... wow... more flood of memories... the last few years i have had the pleasure or interpreting for them at the NYWC there is something awe inspiring about putting out through my hands and my body what they are doing on stage...he will for sure be missed---- more floods of memories.....
this week has just been one of those weeks.... one of my 'kids' from my days here in midland is graduating from college (today) -UT- .. then thursday night i spoke at a dinner for a group of my 'kids' from here who are fixin to graduate from high school- it was crazy...they were my first group of 6th graders here...so my first confirmation kids... lots of firsts with them.. it was a sweet night.... but it was so odd to see these boys that use to have these HIGH voices and cute little chub and fit under my chin...come in with these deep voices... tall and slender....and just monster over me..yet when we saw each other it was like they were 13 again....but instead of my hugs engulfing them....their hugs engulfed me... *gulp*... yeah .. deprogram....reprogram... guess you never really take that part out of you... i may not work in the church full time....but i will always be apart of what is happening in the lives of teens...
i thought i had finally adjusted to my alarm clock ringing at 6:30/6:45 but this week i got to start PT again for my back so i had to rise at 6 on M/W/and F ....UGH... sick sick sick joke...haha not sure i will ever truly enjoy the alarm clock... really honestly WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MINDS thought work should start so early in the morning????? oh well... it allowed me to come back to midland ....and it has allowed me to chase my dream of starting a mission ministry...one step at a time... slowly i know it will happen... i totally believe that...
alright this is a long strange post..
all over the place....but that is what i get for a week of little to no sleep thanks to some hick ups of life! mercy...when it rains it pours .... what the heck? ...oh well Jesus is bigger than any problem...so no worries mon!
Blessings...walking in circles and dizzy....but thankful that He guides the steps!
Lizzy