...so today i spent some time reflecting back on my week in pittsburgh- some with the excitement of the nashville convention being just 3 weeks away- and some just thinking about what i saw...what i did...and most importantly what i heard.....
so doug fields....i feel like i should write him a letter of appology- early on in my years of attending NYWC's i went to a few of his seminars- i got very frustrated while sitting in the class...i kept not wanting to hear one more thing about the different items he had created and we could buy...and from that point on i just never honestly gave him much time....but my views of him have been adjusted a tad!
enter general session #2: worship time was freaking amazing- crowder did "you are my joy" which is hands down my favorite song on their new cd- and i was interpreting at that time...but i digress from the point of this post- if you want to read more about an amazing experince that came with the song....go back a few posts and read "and God heals NWYC style" and you can hear all about it..it truly was awesome....but this post is not about that....
okay so general session 2- doug fields- i was not interpreting during the message- so i sat with my new friends and listened just incase something was missed by the person interpreting and we could feed them the info...so there i sat not so excited about message...mostly because i had this colored picture of doug- but WOW his message was truly amazing and rocked my mind a tad bit....it was like he had crawled into my mind read my thoughts and was speaking just to me (okay so many people i talked with felt the same way- seems us youth pastors share a lot in common) ... the whole 'my mind is saying no yet when i open my mouth the word yes jumps out'- i can't tell you how many times i sit and listen to someone asking me to do something and in my mind i am screaming 'you have got to be kidding- you truly can not believe that i have time on top of everything else i am doing here at the church to put it all on pause and help you out' to open my mouth and have the words 'sure i would be so glad to help you out- let me see what i can shift in my schedule to help you accomplish what you need to accomplish' .....no matter how many times i tell myself i am going to say no- i say yes....sometimes i feel obligated...sometimes i say yes in fear that saying no would be more of an issue then my lack of sleep....sometimes i say yes because business feels so much better then loniness...OUCH....that last one is a kicker...why sit at home alone with my pups if i can be doing something for everyone else.... but my inablity to say no clashes with the rest of my life....so doug asks the question- 'how many of you left cluttered offices? cluttered homes? cluttered cars?' okay so i was ready to make an excuse that i needed to use the restroom as i was feeling like everyone was looking at me....and i make eye contact with a friend who says 'wow....why do i feel like the only one here who's life is full of 'clutter' because i just go and go?' so i didn't run and hide...instead i sat there and thought about what he had said...i started running through my mind how i can start saying no....who i can have hold me accountable to saying no more.... now i will say i have done so much better since moving here to Stephenville- i actually have carved out time that i protect...and i have been doing better then i ever have before...but i need to do even better....i wear 3 hats at my new church and each one holds many other hats....just need to find ways to find a different balance in life now...and also find ways to say no for the protection of my soul....so umm thanks doug...and sorry about those neg thoughts! :-)
okay....off to zz land if i can defrost....we have hit our first COLD snap here in texas and i don't have my heaters lit yet....so instead i am sleeping under 7 blankets....ahahah the joy of living in the country in a OLD house!
be blessed!
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment