why when my heart, head and soul are screaming NO! i open my mouth a yes comes out? (aka nywc gs2- Doug Fields)

so general session 2- a little 4th ave jones (i like their sound but you just can't understand the words in this setting) with lots of energy and the cutest little dude with a fro-hawk.....ted and lee took us on a journey to the last supper (one of my favorite skits of theirs)....an awesome story of the glimpse of HOPE in the aftermath of hurricane katrina through the eyes of a youth pastor and his wife......
now enters doug fields-
i got the chance to hear him speak at the pitts convention and he gave the same message here- only difference this time was that i was able just to listen and take notes vs interpreting the message for someone else....
highlights from his talk: (little disclaimer-these notes come from his mouth into my strange mind out my hand onto paper...so in no way do i claim these are EXACT quotes! haha)
really after doug said this "We need to ask ourselves: How do i say no so i can slow down and hear God say yes?" he could have sat down and given us the rest of the 40 min to ask ourselves this question and just be still to listen to God....he didn't do that of course (and shared lots of great stuff that i will get to in a min but....) this question is on the front of my mind and one i am really ready to sit down and honestly answer and then find someone to help hold me accountable to what God says to me during that time....
we were challenged to learn from past...watch for warning lights....and to stay focused so we can avoid our own "train crash".....he talked to us about what he sees as the "heart-break" of youth ministry (the sickness of saying yes to everything because we are scared to say no and that not saying no trickels down to every part of our lives and leaves us feeling empty, sick and alone) his last main point was also one that i plan on holding onto and chewing on for a while..."Hurry is the enemy of depth- mile long yet an inch deep....we try to be everything to everybody and we end up nobody to everyone." pretty hard truth...yet truth....good stuff to think on....
other then that the convention is going great. when we shut down the registration area today we were over 90% checked in (awesome) and i was off to hang with some friends. i had the chance to attend the women in ministry dinner (odd to eat in rows and not tables...but oh well) and i will say what karla had to say was the most impactful to me- what an amazing example of love and grace-i love her 'realness'....
as usual it has been freaking awesome how God allows me to run into friends from the past.....come on ..... in a sea of 7500 faces that i could run into a ministry partner from my walla walla days and a friend from my high school days in the rocky mt. conference all in the same day are unbelievable....THANK YOU! what a gift of sweetness!
with that as it is coming on 130am i am off to find some zzzz's so i can do ole in the morning before gs3...so i will close with this
-Jesus-
thank you for the sweet embrace of your love and grace of this day. may our worship of you in this place as we talk with others....eat with others...make eye contact with a stranger....talk to those around us....pray....and sing our songs be as sweet to your heart as your love is to our souls.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

a sea of faces.....

well today is offically day 2.....yet really day one of the nashville convention and i am pretty zapped...but in a good way.
sitting at registration checking in group after group.....or that one person that has come for the first time and just doesn't know what to look at first or which way to go and has that hazed over look in their eyes has been pretty amazing and lots of fun. .......yeah we have had our times of frustration- but look at the number of people here---and when you look at that- we have been running smooth!
it is amazing to watch the sea of people move around the area.....and the feel of the static of energy is sweet. i think back to my first nywc- wild kingdom atlanta- and i was that wide eyed person who couldn't believe everything that was before me. i walked around in a daze unsure which way to go and what seminar was best and how i could do everything (yeah reality set in on sunday and my body would not allow me to wake up- i slept through most of the day!- i now find one morning at each convention where i give myself 'permission' to sleep in and not attend something so that my body is rested so my soul can recieve)......
right now registration is on a 'semi-break' as people are in the first general session- Mark Yaconelli is speaking and crowder leading worship. I hope mark's message is the same one he gave in pittsburgh- pretty amazing message......
well back to work- for me- more people to check in!
my prayer today: Jesus cause me to stumble over those you want me to see today- and help me pause my heart to meet them and hear their story!

i promise.....

okay so here is my 'i promise' for nywc nashvegas (great idea btw)

while at the nywc in nashvegas i promise to.....

1. take time to breathe in and breathe out........
2. rise each day giving thanks for the opportunity i have to be here when many in my same shoes can't afford to come- or can't get here....
3. pray for those i meet who Jesus has called me to 'stumble over'...
4. stop long enough to hear anothers story....and give thanks for the shared journey
5. to email my sr. pastor while i am here to thank him for making it possible to be here and for being such an encouraging and edifying partner in ministry
6. write postcards to all my students- active and inactive letting them know that even though i am away- they are here with me in my heart and more importantly in my prayers
7. look for ways to bless others without them knowing where it came from
8. share a hot meal with a homeless person who calls the streets of nashville home- not to 'shove the gospel' at them-but just to hear the story of a sister or brother in Christ and see them as He does- BELOVED
9. catch up with old friends- hug them- encourage them- and laugh with them
10. come to ALL general sessions with a open mind ready and willing- waiting for Jesus to speak to me.....especially through the speakers i don't think have anything to say because of a past thought....
11. enourage the ys staff and thank them for being one of the greatest blessings and encouragements in the lives of so many of us here.........
12. worship with abandon- not caring who is sitting in front- beside- behind me or leading the worship time....
13. give away all the 'fun free stuff' given to us to my students or other youth workers in my area who need to be blessed
14. play hard and laugh often
15. sleep and rest- not just play hard
16. celebrate in my joy and in my tears...you can't have a blessing without sorrow...and when sorrow comes a blessing is on its way!

Father- thank you for this gift....thank you for the promise of hope and the gift of mercy. Fill us....use us...break us...heal us. may we celebrate in our sameness and be blind to our differntness..........may we bless each other...those you bring across our paths....may we leave nashville changed and leave those who stay and greet the next group to arrive in this city blessed. In Jesus we CELEBRATE! amen

Why?

today was the nametag day.... the day that we as the registration team sort through all the name tags and put them in the right envelope making sure all are where they are spose to be. as a usual loud and out and about person i walked in ready to talk to people.....but as i sat down to start sorting tags a question from one of my students came back to my mind...."lizzy- why do you go to these conventions- do they really do anything for you?" it wasn't a mean question- it was a question of a student who wanted to know why i would be leaving again for a week after going just a month ago to the "same" convention. we sat and talked about it....talked about for me what it means to be on the vol staff at a convention each year- a chance to give back and hopefully bless someone's life in some way during the week in some small way that i would never know happened.....and in pitts my vol job was so different since i spent the time interpreting...hanging with just a few people the whole time working to make sure they were getting the most and best out of the convention....and then i we talked about why i then feel the need to "come" to one....to "attend".... and i strangly found it hard to find words fitting to explain what it meant to me....i did my best.... and as we ended our conversation he looked at me...smiled....gave me a sweet little hug and said...."well enjoy 'attending'.....may your need be 'attended' and you come back ready to help us 'attend' church and life here." and woosh he was off...
so there i am today sorting tags...and this conversation came to my mind and i suddenly didn't really want to talk to those around me---i wanted to truly read each name on each tag and pray for Jesus to attend to them so they could return to help thier students attend their lives....kinda a sweet time for me today- it was amazing to look at the names of all these amazing men and women who walk the same road i do everyday....to take the quick few moments to lift each one to Jesus....the time here is sweet and amazing- just a great time of embracing and loving and being loved and embraced in return...a time of connecting and learning.....a time of worship and prayer....a time of craziness and laughter.....a time of just being.....a time of filling and preparing- and in the end you leave tired, full, ready, excited, overwhelmed, and unsure.....and you return home to the faces of students you love on every day--- or a student you haven't seen in a while---and it all comes together in this beautiful picture.....and because you feel so full you are so ready to pour it back out......so that was my prayer today- for the names i read and all the names read by the rest of the team- may we all come ready to allow Jesus to attend to us and return ready to help our students learn to attend to their lives by allowing Jesus to attend to their hearts............
Jesus meet us here..........attend to us and us to you!

ahh the joy of air travel

so today was the day- i was up early (after a late night hanging with some old students) to hit the austin airport for my trip to nashvegas. so typical check in, get ready, load plane.....and wait....and wait....and wait....and ummm wait...until the airline attendant comes on to tell us that something is "up" in houston and we won't be taking off for at least an hour more likely 2....THANKFULLY they let us get off the plane and walk around- really i just wanted to find a corner and sleep but that was not gonna happen. so i read and listened to some sweet new music that i got last night from rob. we finally reborded and took off 2 hours late....got to houston to find that my connection was delayed over an hour...so it was again the whole hurry up to wait.....so finally get to nashvegas and head to my hotel-(word of warning to those of you who like hotels.com- my hotel is NOTHING like the picture and the info they gave...hummmm) and headed over to the convention center to see if i could be of any help....well yup....spent the next few hours catching up with friends and folding t-shirts (oh joy) and setting up store stuff....it is crazy to think that in a few days downtown nashvegas isn't gonna really know what hit them....can't wait!

Nashvegas baby!

AHH yes tis the day...the day of the long waited road trip to Nashvegas- okay so i ain't driving all the way to Nash- but I am off here in a few hours to Austin (hook em!) and then fly out tomorrow for the NYWC- (can't wait- but MERCY what the heck is nashvegas gonna do with 9000 of us wacked-out, insane, youth workers?) ....but to be honest i am almost as excited about my time in Austin as i am about the convention- I get to spend some great (unfortunatly short) time with some former students who are students at UT. I can't wait! I haven't had much time with them since my return to Texas in June- saw them for about 24 hours while they were working at a camp- but that is it....so this will be some sweet sweet time! and well i LOVE Austin (NYWC 2007!) so that will be fun too...probably won't sleep much tonight- who cares....it will be great just to hang and chat it up...but i am stoked about the convention though- i was in pitts as a part of the vol team interpreting- but i am ready to go and soak it up for me this time....
so i is off to austin for some visitin and then nashvegas bound YEHAW!
see ya on the road!
Lizzy<><

....days that just won't end....

i am sure you have had one....you know the day that just WON'T end? yep- having one now. but this day should be a great day- i didn't have to work. after over 100 hours of work last week alone on a movie for our youth sunday- i was given today off.
so my day started with a wake-up call from mother nature as a storm shook my house at 6:30am. so yeah finally was able to fall back asleep after the rumbles settled down a bit (not much it poured until noon- lightening and thunder attacking left and right). my day actually started with a visit to the chiropractor for a back injury that is a year and a half old and getting very OLD every day. today hurt...it hurt bad...but what hurt worse was to hear my chiro actually admit that he is not sure he can do anything to get rid of the pain...he is as stumped as i am as to why almost 2 years later i am still in so much pain....AHHH ...that is so freaking frustrating! he poked and popped some spots then did 'presure point' treatment that actually hurt so bad i couldn't help but cry...insane.
so after that fun event i was off to spend some time in fort worth-woo hoo- but that too was a bust- some cause i was not feeling so hot thanks to the chiro visit- and some because i went to get some new crocs and they were OUT of my size and color i wanted- nothing like not being able to buy some shoes to make you feel sour :-) then had to fight once again with best buy...long story- so not worth writing about- lets just say their "geek squad" that they boast about is not truly a squad of experts but people who dress badly and offer bad advice and pretend they know what they are talking about....also wanted to see 'in her shoes' and that didn't work out...so i just came home and called the day over...
so what is with today? some of it i know is dealing with feelings of things past and things that maynever be....some of it is knowing that there are people who are hurting today- who have lost a friend..a pastor...a father...a husband.. and that their are people out there who don't want to let them be and let them have their time-
you know sometimes life just sucks- today is one of those days- but the bright side of a bad day- is that tomorrow can't help but be better!
but really could today just end? i am gonna make a move in that direction and call it over- sleep come quickly!

NYWC reflections from the interpreting platform part 2....

...so today i spent some time reflecting back on my week in pittsburgh- some with the excitement of the nashville convention being just 3 weeks away- and some just thinking about what i saw...what i did...and most importantly what i heard.....

so doug fields....i feel like i should write him a letter of appology- early on in my years of attending NYWC's i went to a few of his seminars- i got very frustrated while sitting in the class...i kept not wanting to hear one more thing about the different items he had created and we could buy...and from that point on i just never honestly gave him much time....but my views of him have been adjusted a tad!

enter general session #2: worship time was freaking amazing- crowder did "you are my joy" which is hands down my favorite song on their new cd- and i was interpreting at that time...but i digress from the point of this post- if you want to read more about an amazing experince that came with the song....go back a few posts and read "and God heals NWYC style" and you can hear all about it..it truly was awesome....but this post is not about that....

okay so general session 2- doug fields- i was not interpreting during the message- so i sat with my new friends and listened just incase something was missed by the person interpreting and we could feed them the info...so there i sat not so excited about message...mostly because i had this colored picture of doug- but WOW his message was truly amazing and rocked my mind a tad bit....it was like he had crawled into my mind read my thoughts and was speaking just to me (okay so many people i talked with felt the same way- seems us youth pastors share a lot in common) ... the whole 'my mind is saying no yet when i open my mouth the word yes jumps out'- i can't tell you how many times i sit and listen to someone asking me to do something and in my mind i am screaming 'you have got to be kidding- you truly can not believe that i have time on top of everything else i am doing here at the church to put it all on pause and help you out' to open my mouth and have the words 'sure i would be so glad to help you out- let me see what i can shift in my schedule to help you accomplish what you need to accomplish' .....no matter how many times i tell myself i am going to say no- i say yes....sometimes i feel obligated...sometimes i say yes in fear that saying no would be more of an issue then my lack of sleep....sometimes i say yes because business feels so much better then loniness...OUCH....that last one is a kicker...why sit at home alone with my pups if i can be doing something for everyone else.... but my inablity to say no clashes with the rest of my life....so doug asks the question- 'how many of you left cluttered offices? cluttered homes? cluttered cars?' okay so i was ready to make an excuse that i needed to use the restroom as i was feeling like everyone was looking at me....and i make eye contact with a friend who says 'wow....why do i feel like the only one here who's life is full of 'clutter' because i just go and go?' so i didn't run and hide...instead i sat there and thought about what he had said...i started running through my mind how i can start saying no....who i can have hold me accountable to saying no more.... now i will say i have done so much better since moving here to Stephenville- i actually have carved out time that i protect...and i have been doing better then i ever have before...but i need to do even better....i wear 3 hats at my new church and each one holds many other hats....just need to find ways to find a different balance in life now...and also find ways to say no for the protection of my soul....so umm thanks doug...and sorry about those neg thoughts! :-)

okay....off to zz land if i can defrost....we have hit our first COLD snap here in texas and i don't have my heaters lit yet....so instead i am sleeping under 7 blankets....ahahah the joy of living in the country in a OLD house!

be blessed!

NYWC reflections from the interpreting platform part 1.....

so i must admit- interpreting for the convention is totally different from attending the convention- it is BETTER! yep- i have really really enjoyed being a part of the vol team the past few years- giving back to people who inspire me daily. but there was something totally different about being a part of the vol team as an interpreter. in the past i have spent my time at the HQ desk meeting people, hearing stories, handing out pounds of candy and helping people find their way...
this year was spent with a smaller group of people....and was more tiring then years past- there were times at night that my brain would completely be slushy by the time i crawled into bed at night....but during the event- i was all there....
we actually interpreted a critical concerns course- talk about alot of time with hands flying- wow...I spent my CC in the '3 story evangilism' course- it was a very good cc- even though i was interpreting i did get a lot out of it. not the same as getting to attend- but still it was pretty awesome. people in the class were very accepting and embracing to our deaf attendee- which is always a total plus. most of the stuff was pretty common sense but was a great review and some new insights. and a movie that i have enjoyed in the past but had lost sight of was brought back to mind as they showed a clip from it during the class...i will for sure be checking amistad out again soon.
from the cc we were off to the first gs- Mark Yaconelli gave an amazing talk- i couldn't help but think of a few people in my life that my thought would be 'yeah i would love to unaffirm them too'- if we are honest that is usually our first reaction when we are 'unaffirmed' by others- for me though his talk took me to a place where i wanted to find ways to forgive those that have unaffirmed me in my ministry. for my own hearts sake.... so his talk really got me thinking....and of course the david crowder *band did an amazing job of leading us to the very feet of our Savior. it was a great gs- and getting to interpret for dc*b was amazing- something about interpreting worship just brings me to a place in my heart that is closer to Jesus then anything. it was awesome....i will say though the experince of interpreting for the skit guys is pretty comical....stacey (the other interpreter) and i shared the prodical son skit interpreting- each taking on one character....which went well. but i was left to do the "welcome our new youth pastor" skit myself.....rap and all- it was pretty stinking crazy and funny....
more to come....reflecting time first :-) keep walking the journey has just begun!

...flying the friendly skies....sometimes too friendly...

so do you sleep on planes? usually i have more then a tough time falling asleep on a plane....but today was a tad different. i didn't get to bed all too early last night (too busy spending a few moments with friends as the convention closed up) and my alarm went off all to early this morning-
so up i got- way before i ever ever ever wanted to see the day- but up i got to finish packing and head off to the air port. so pretty smooth go to the airport- got there....got checked in....got on plane....here is where things got interesting...
so as i get on the plane as typical the person i was assigned to sit next too was already settled in their seat and i was the window seat. well he gets up...i put my stuff up and get settled. we start having some conversation- you know just nice convo- 'how are you?'- 'where you from?' etc....you know nice little chit-chat.... which is great when you are gonna be sitting next to someone for 3 hours....
well the plane takes off- we finally hit the right place where the little bell chimes and you know it is okay to get out your electric stuff...so i pop out the good o ipod ready to enjoy some crowder and spend some time reflecting on the week (which i have....and will be continuing to do so...and will post more about that later). well i get really really tired...and actually pop my seat back and close my eyes- well not only did i close my eyes- i totally fell asleep. i am not sure excatly how long i was asleep- i woke up the first time as the grouchy little attendant was walking through cleaning up trash from the beverage service (oops missed that one)- funny side bar my seat mate and i agreed that she looked like an exact twin of the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of oz....it was kinda funny....so well i was like whatever and went back to zz land....next time i wake up...i wake up to realize that my seat mate (who's name i don't even know) has fallen asleep. not only has he fallen asleep- he is sleeping on my shoulder! okay....so he is actually close to my age...single....is kinda cute and has great taste in calone....but HELLO...i don't even know his name and he is totally zonked out on me. i kept trying to wake up fully but couldn't- you know that place in sleep when you are awake and asleep- i shifted alittle- and he stays asleep- finally i give up and fall back asleep myself. well next time i wake up....(i am pretty sure i slept at least 2 of the 3 hours) he is not only now sleeping on my shoulder but has cuddled up with me...his hand wrapped around my arm and touching my hand...still zonked out. well this time i was able to wake up more so i shifted and kinda coughed pretending to still be asleep- (i didn't want to embarrass him) he finally wakes up and i can tell he is a little freaked out that he was sleeping on me. i just continue fake sleeping for a few more....then 'wakeup' he doesn't make eye contact with me for the longest time....finally toward the end of the flight he strikes up a conversation with me again. it was all i could do not to start laughing....but i just played nice....played dumb.
i guess it could have been worse...he could have smelled bad and been rude...instead it was just one of those strange- slightly odd- a little uncomfortable- and alot funny (well atleast in my mind it was) flight experiences. sure beats my flight to pittsburgh. but wow....those were the 'friendliest skies' i have ever flown...ha!
okay so stay tuned....more on NYWC experience and reflection coming.....once i recover from cuddling with a guy whos name i don't know....YIKES ....hahahhaa
be blessed....and dream well!

....and God heals....(NYWC Style!)

okay...so i am a tad slow and off this week on my posting....for good reason though. i am currently in pittsburgh at the nywc........freaking brilliant time!
anyway i am here as a volunteer helping the ys staff. i have been doing this for the last 5 years and LOVE the time i have volunteering- nothing like finding a way to give back to people- fellow youth workers who walk in the same shoes i do...on very holy ground....in differnt places all over the world.
i can't help but think back to last year--- i was in such a difficult place...i was more then broken i was shatterd. i felt like i walked around in the "icu" the whole time- still enjoyed my time last year...but was a completely differnt experince. so anyway...
this year i am actually getting to interpret. that has been such an amazing highlight for me. i actually graduated from college with a degree in interpreting- i then was called to full time ministry and had to really give up a lot of my invoulvment with the Deaf community. i have prayed so often about how God could take my 2 biggest passions and connect them. this week has given me the start of that great picture.....God truly is amazing....blessings flow and continue to do so. as the week has gone on...i feel my skills coming back- and with them...my deep burning passion for the Deaf community. ...so yeah...one of my favorite things to interpret is worship- and i set up a schedule with the other interpreters and i got to interpret for the david crowder *band.....my favorite worship leaders....anyway i had asked crowder a few weeks ago if he would for sure do 'you are my joy' from their new cd as the picture that song creates is amazing. anyway...so second worship time crowder busts out 'you are my joy' and WOW can i tell you what an experince that was? WILD.....
so here i am interpreting that song...and when you interpret you are to do the best of your ablity to match not just the words...but the emotion behind them. so here i am...just in awe at His feet signing this song...so one of the Deaf guys here that i have had the PURE joy of hanging with and getting to know looks at me and says:
"it is like God has healed me- i 'hear' the joy...i can see the joy....i can feel the joy...i 'hear' the joy so loudly- God has spoken and is speaking and His joy is shining-wow..this is amazing"...well okay so i was so close to tears not funny- such a sweet and beautiful moment with our Savior and a new friend. - see when he says he was 'healed' he didn't mean he was hearing like as if his ears were opened...but he was hearing with all of who he is to all of who God is..... AMAZING....so after i went back to thank crowder for doing the song...and asked if it would be alright for the guys to come meet him- and in his typical way- crowder was more then gracious- they had a few min to chat ....snaped a photo....shared hugs...and we were out of there.....i love that crowder is so real- just a normal guy....who is called to lead us to the very throne of Jesus....it was a truly awe inspiring experince. WOW.....i won't forget this anytime soon.
this week has relit the passion in my soul for Deaf teens- i am hoping to find some ways to get involved with doing more. i have so missed interpreting.- it is not my calling full time...but it is truly a passion....so it has been a week of joy.
my arms do feel like they are going to fall off and my brain is full to over flowing....infact yesterday my brain truly "hurt" you have to think and process so much when you interpret. but it has been pure and simple joy........tomorrow is it and i am sad that it will be over...but i am ready for some real sleep. convention time is always crazy and sleep seems to fall by the side... oh well it is more then worth it.
okay tomorrow is another full morning- then clean up and such...so i need to find the journey to my bed and the zzzz's.
praise God for He is good!

keep walking slowly- don't miss out on even the little things.....
thank you Jesus....thank you for the cross....thank you for the calling....thank you for the gift you gave and give today. you are holy...and i seek to be wholly yours!

customer what?.....

....oh yeah so some people just don't even know what the words "customer service" mean....yep...basically i have had communication with aa and they just don't get it.....basically i was blamed for a employees choice to use inappropriate language and didn't even get truly an appology.....ahh so as for my last post....i still agree.....i am still thinking it...and i still am screaming to all who will listen....AMERICAN AIRLINES TANKS!.....avoid at all costs!....not sure the "discounted ticket" i found was worth the headache....for 32 more dollars i could flown the friendly skys with my favorite airline and had a much better experince!....UGH.....live and learn....

okay back to "work"....
walk on!

american airlines sucks!

okay so that is a tad strong....MAYBE... you see it has been one of those days...you know the ones.....well welcome to my day today.....it was a glimpse of hell....as my dad use to joke...it is days like this that make me glad i know Jesus.....cause atleast in the end end....there will be no end just joy with Him.....guess you have to know my dad to know how fun that coment is...but yes today makes me glad that this is not my ultimate life.....

so i fought with a airline person...without even trying....really i just went to figure out where my plane was to find out they left 15 min early.....well not really really the door was just shut and i was told "i am in charge of that door and i am not opening it..you will just have to deal with it.. " a few other things were said....i just stood there...saying nothing back knowing that fighting with this woman would not result in anything but more hell for me. UGH....i was at her mercy..so i was put on a flight to leave 2 hours later...but for fun....(NOT) i sat and waited and watched the plane.....my plane the one i was spose to be on ...sit for another 15 min before leaving the gate....(hello how freaking hard would it have been to open the door? i have made tighter flight issues) ....so then go to my next plane area...wait....get on....fly get here and have issues....ahhhh finally arriving at the hotel to find out that 6 of the crystal hand etched communion chalices i made for friend broke because the same NOT SO NICE aa employee told me she woul dnot allow me to carry the box on (mind you it was smaller then most carry ons) and that it would have to be checked....oh yeah and can i mention that i had already made it through security with the box? yeah ...okay so i explain what is in the box...she just gives me this look takes the box and checks it....so yep i am even more TICKED at aa......i am sending a letter.....i am so over it....but realy the part that makes me more over it is that i was nothing but nice to the lady and she not only was rude but cussed at me.....what the heck is that? .....ahhhh

okay too long of a day too much drama for this gal.....i am off to try and get some zzzzzzz

keep walking....slowly.....one foot infront of the other...

art projects that go BLAH!

okay so i am a tad frustrated....YUCK....okay so i LOVE doing art stuff...i love it love it love it...but i know i am overly critical of my stuff....and tonight is one of those.....i just got done doing some glass etching...but well i am not sure it has turned out how i want....hummmm....we will see...i need to go to sleep and see what it looks like in the morning- i know that if i try to do anything to it tonight.....life could get really really bad....besides it is 1am ...i didn't sleep last night....so i need to go to bed....and reality is...if tomorrow they are as bad as i feel.....well they can go bye bye and who ever has to know that i didn't like what was created? humm no one ..... trash cans were created for days such as this:-) hahaha

tomorrow is a new day- tomorrow is a new day with a new project.....tomorrow is a new day with a new project just waiting to be created.....yes it will happen...tomorrow is all about art-baking some cookies- packing for my trip- and going to hit a movie in the afternoon for a brain break!

walk on!

working on my day off....

....so what good is a day off?
yeah so this is my typical friday- it is my day off...yet i still find myself in my office. CRAZY...what the heck am i thinking- yeah yeah yeah i know lots to do and only so many hours...but why do we work when it is not our time to work? i can tell you i do it some out of boredom...some because i don't feel like i get enough done...and some out of need....
i told myself all week i wasn't going to work today- but well i had to get up early as it was 'pep rally' day at the high school- can i just go on record right now to say that if you have never lived in texas you haven't really experienced high school football insanity! here in good o St'ville they go all out. EVERY friday during football season our high school takes a full hour of classes to get everyone together in the gym to yell, scream, jump up and down and show school spirit. today i sat as i normally do with the parents (yep here everyone- the whole town it seems sometimes) comes to the pep rallies) and just watched. it is interesting to see- it is interesting to experience- it is something that still to this day baffles my mind.
you see we can't just have a simple pep rally- nope...we have to go over the top....we have to take propane takes and fill them with ball barrings so we can shake them to sound like an attack of the yellowjacket (the school mascot....well if you are a boy...if you are a girl you are a honeybee) ...i don't have anything against it really- i mean i will say i believe we take it a little too far....but i do like the idea of encouraging the students to have some spirit...but yes the pride does come in the way sometimes....it just baffles me what we choose to get so excited about. yes yes yes here it comes.....sike...no it doesn't i am not about to say 'i just wish we gave Jesus the same cheers we give at friday night football' ....because what happens on friday nights is too much- it put on and it is forced.....there is HYPE in the air....there is some excitment....but at the end of the night everyone goes home and it is over....
so today it just hit me that here in texas we tend to go to far....and when i am tired it really seems so....it also hit me that i find one excuse after the other to work when i should be truly taking my day off...wow today has been a day...and with that i am gonna go get my hair done....new hair is a great adventure of a great day....and besides this ramble needs to end...what the heck? ahhhh welcome to my friday.

come and listen.....come and listen to what he's done....

come and listen.....
i can't tell you exactly how many times i listened to this tune as i drove home tonight from our bible study. david crowder *bands new cd is insane- in a really really good...no wait...in a really really amazing way. anyway- we had a great night of discussion- they are so hungry for truth- the students- they are seeking- they are striving- they are wanting and yearning for more of HIM....ah YES!
so i got in my car stoked out about the night and on came the song "come and listen" so i did listen- again and again and again- however long it took me to get from the church to the house- that is how many times i listened to the words- they are so freaking true- do we...do you take the time to listen to what He has done...what He is doing? do you take the time to praise Him and thank Him for all He has done, is doing and will do? tonight i stand is total AWE of my Savior- His love is so real and alive and here in our face everyday- how do you not see?
i also am thinking on this song as we work on our worship service for the 30th. the song speaks so much to the challege, question and declaration we want to speak that day. It is about Him...it is about challenging people to be bold enough to declare their identity in Him- so i am working on the video...the ideas are RUNNING in my mind nonstop......i am praying they will all come together soon- His goal- His time- His message- that is what we want.
well i am off to listen and see what He has done!

a difference in a year....

wow.....what a difference a year can really make!
litorally at this exact moment (i mean time and everything) last year i was walking into what would prove to be one of the worst days of my ministry career. you see just a year ago today at 4:15pm in florida i was heading into my weekly 'checkin' in' meeting with my supervisor at the church. no need to feel anything but this is the weekly deal...no big deal...only added stress was we were in the heat of setting up for our rummage sale...a HUGE fundraiser that was a HUGE headache...but the outcome money wise was usually worth it....so here i am walking down the hall thinking nothing of it...i walk into his office...shut the door and sit down ready for our quick 30 min...........i was no way prepared for what would come out of his mouth......i remember the words, the look on his face, the temp in the room and the rock hard slam to my gut that came with his word.... "liz i don't even know how to start....i don't want to be saying this...i don't know why ...but i promised you if i ever thought this was going to happen i would warn you....well it is....it is going to happen. i don't know when i don't know why....but sprc is going to ask you to step down....get your resume out and ready....again i dont' know why or when...i just know it is going to happen." i know i asked some questions- i don't remember them...i just remember beins so unsure if i could even take a deep breath......he kept saying sorry...sorry...i don't know why...why don't you just go home for the day....it will be okay....can i do something for you...i just sat there not saying anything....i remember at one point looking up at him and he just gave me this look- you know like the one a puppy gives you at the pet store begging you to take it home...his last words to me as i was leaving his office- "and liz you can't say anything to anyone- you need to keep this between you and i...i want you to have time to find new position...if you go off talking about this it may speed things up"....so there i was....i had been fired before being fired (how the heck you do that i don't know)....i just walked out to my car got in and started driving.....and then the tears came....and i made a few phone calls....and my world became dark, hallow and very lonely.... ..wow crazy what a year can do....
so this past weekend i was looking for something and i found a journal that i thought i had lost that i actually started last year at this time...my entry from a year ago includes this "my body is numb but yet pain is ripping through my soul. my mind is so fuzzy- i'm not sure about what time it is or what i am doing at any given moment- all i know is time is passing and i can't account for it. i hide now..i hide in my pain, i hide in my anger, i hide in my embarrassment- FIRED- not the word used but it is really the outcome to come- when? i don't know- time doesn't matter anyway- my heart feels as if it has stopped. tears just run down my face- i feel s broken, branded and scared. i feel like i am standing on the firing line watching them clean and prepare their guns that would deliver the final shot- the final blow..i know what is coming- it is the when i can't see. i can already feel the bullets enter my body- they burn as they tear through my flesh- as they enter my soul- even though the first bullet is a direct hit to my heart i am left still breathing watching and waiting for the end to come. how will i do it? how will i move on? how do i prepare to leave when i have to pretend to stay...that nothing is happening...shhh gag order....don't talk to anyone...you have to be your normal happy self- doesn't matter that you are broken...doesn't matter that you are hurting- get over it and get ready to move on. night has come and i should be sleeping- but sleep is escaping me. i lie in bed the dark surrounding me- i am so scared i don't know what to do...tears just keep coming- morning is here..i must go to work...i enter a building now that feels like a prison- a shell of a place- quick paste a smile- nothing is wrong- my mind keeps yelling at me to 'escape- run- don't look back' but i stay- i have no choice. the walls are closing in on me and i can't find a door- what can i do? i can't escape. .....i feel like i have been beaten and left by the side of the road...yet with each car that passes i have to raise my head and smile pretending that nothing is wrong- nothing has happened. ...Jesus (i cry out) i need you- please be more real to me right now it this place then ever before- guide and restore my soul- direct me- i am walking without sight right now...embrace and give me rest....."
it goes on...lots more really- but you see where i was just one year ago today at this exact moment- but a year does change things. I am in a better place- i am in a new ministry- Jesus was faithful then as He is today- it is hard to look back- it is hard to remember last year- it was crazy- but today is beautiful. I love what i do...i love the call He has placed on my heart- i just dont' always like putting my feet down on the path that is before me. fear is a crazy thing- so that is what i am working on right now- FEAR NOT- FOR I AM WITH YOU........yes He is...and for that alone i rejoice greatly- Jesus is my all...my rock...my hope in dark and troubled times...He has lead me and held me...He has covered and healed me.....He is still healing me...wounded and broken i shall always remain- but in that brokenness He shines- Thank you Jesus for the difference of a year.....Thank you for your faithfulness and your hand of grace, mercy and hope....thank you for people who stand in the gap so the bumps only sting and not bruise.....Praise the Lord for His is good- faithful- true.
walking forward with the story of the past to give me strength!

a million miles an hour.......

......my brain right now...that is where it is....i have a million thoughts....going a million ways...it is INSANE!!!!!!!!!!! i have so much that is happening that sometimes i feel like i am just running after a parked car....do you ever have that feeling? i am made up that way- i like to have lots going all at the same time- but sometimes i just want to yell.....WAIT......STOP.....someone please for the love of jellybeans push the PAUSE button..... right now is one of those times.....i need to stop for a moment...yet i am not sure when and how i can...that is my goal tonight as i fight to fall asleep (yep i know it is gonna be a fight because my brain is going mad crazy)....i am going to look at my next few days and truly find time that i can just PAUSE and BE.....i need some BE time with the great I AM....I need to BE with BE.....yeah that is it....hold me to it...challenge me to do it...sometime between now and sunday i need to do this!...that is the goal!

alright...off the the journey of zzzzz land- well soon i hope!

Jesus....

...my identity. is He? that is the question....the statement....the truth that we are focusing on in the coming month during our times together at our youth meetings. we lead worship once a qrt at the church and our theme on october 30th is Jesus:my identity- focusing on the question that Jesus asked of the disciples (it is found in matthew, mark, and luke)- you see first He askes "who do others say that I am?" and the disciples are quick to tell Him- "a prophet, elijah, john the baptist" .....he then turns around and asks... "who do you say that I am?"....peter speaks up..."the Christ of God....the Messiah"....so Jesus asked that question then....and i believe He is asking that question still today- so that is our challenge....that is our goal....to ask people "who is Jesus" and in asking them the question causing them to think about it.....think about how they respond to the question.....not just with their words...but with their very actions.... some would say we are being a little risky- some would say we have no right- some would say that the question has been answered again and again- but has it? every day i feel like i am surrounded with "cheesy Jesus" junk- being in full time ministry i get a whole stack of things asking me to buy this buy that....look at this cool pic of Jesus playing hockey- get it for all your hockey loving students.....COME ON PEOPLE......have we taken it too far? sometimes i find some of this funny- other times i find it sad.....what if the only Jesus we are being to others is the one found at urban outfitter? you know...the Jesus action figure....or hey better then that....what about the ever so popular bobble-head Jesus? ............ just has me thinking.... and thinking.....and wondering.....and pondering....who is Jesus? is He really my identity? ........if so....how do i show it? or is it just a little bobble-head Jesus style of identity? humm more on this later........

pondering and wondering!
Lizzy<><

caveman night in stephenville...wow...

so tonight we had our first B.A.R.F. event (bring a real friend) it is our evangelism program with our students. we host events that are fun and low key for our students to invite their non-churched friends.

tonight was caveman night- i try to have a theme each time we get together...for the fun factor..so we asked and encouraged all the youth to dress up in caveman stylin' clothes...(some did some didn't)...and get ready for a great night. we had cave painting contests (they had to do bible stories in cave art...pretty funny really)...we ahd food...oh my did we have food! ....and we had a little screening of encino man. since it came out in 1992 many of the kids han't seen it. it was a great night full of laughter and fun.....but more then that it was a glimpse into what can be.....you see i haven't been here all that long....this is our first event like this...and the kids get it....i mean they get it....they want to be here...they want to bring their friends...not just for the fun.....but to be together as a crew...a family of believers and seekers....it was a GREAT night....thanks Jesus for the love and hope...and thanks pauly shore for one wicked mellon thump of a story du-ed...yeah bu--dy

ahh with that...i am climbing in bed for some well needed and well earned zzzzz's......

praise Him who loves us as we are!

...today my heart broke........

it was crazy....... i was at the wesley foundation for lunch (our church feeds the college crew that shows up on thursdays-- it is free--and usually pretty good--what a deal for them- never had anything like this when i was in college..) i go each week just to hang out and talk- it is a great break to my week. each week either myself, one of our pastors or a college student gives a short devo...well this week was my week....and to be honest i just wasn't in the right place- didn't have the energy or 'want-to' to do it, yet it was my turn. so that morning as i was getting ready to go i decided to pull the devo i did for our worship team last week.....

i have been reading louie giglios book 'i am not....but i know I AM' - i first heard louie give a talk on this subject a few years back at the national youth workers convention. it was/is a message that i go back to often...infact i will admit to 'liberating' the idea of the message and using it in my own ministry.... so when the book came out i was quick to order it- like what usually happens with me...i had a stack of 'books to read' sitting on my desk and finally made it to this one a few weeks back..... so the start of the book is based on looking at moses at the burning bush when he oh so boldly asks God what His name is.....I AM ....which means we are all names 'i am not' (really this is more then the readers digest version so go get the book and read it for yourself it is great...will really knock you in the head) i currently am stuck on this section of the book....I AM vs i am not.... so i used that in my worship team meeting and we discussed a lot about being sure that I AM is always the center....always the reason...always the leader of our worship...we are not.... it was good....so i figured i would just use the same deal and just leave the words for the college kids to stir over in their minds- (okay yes it was an easy way to just do the devo without doing the time....but wait....God knew this needed to be the message...read on!)

...so come with me back to the wesley center......

time comes for the devo-i get up...read exodus 3 and then the 4.5 pages of the book....we pray.... i am done....they go back to eating i go back to hangin and talkin... well i am standing by the ping pong table talking with some guys playin...jokin around....and this gal walks up. she isn't a student...she works at the college. but she has a story...........(we all have a story)...and something about me made her want to tell it.

things have happened in her life...some would say they were unfair....but that isn't what caused my heart to break- what caused it break was her telling me about being at church- in a sunday school class and out of ignorance someone in the class made a very judgmental and harsh statement about people who are in prison and how there is no hope for them so why minister to them. you see this person made not only a very ingnorant statement- but without knowing she squished this gal flat. her husband is in prison- she told me she hasn't been back. she admitted that it is her and she shouldn't have allowed it to stop her from being in worship- but she felt and feels so judged. .....here is why my heart broke.........

out of ignorance a statement was made. a statement that is direct opposit what Jesus did...what He called us to do.... and a statement that i am sure was made in ignorance and fear built a wall between this gal and her Father in heaven- instead of walking along side her and showing her love, support, and encouragement. my heart breaks everytime someone walks away from the church because someone inside the walls....someone who thinks they have the answers.......who acts like they have life all together.....speaks in a place where only truth should be declared ...and throws bricks faster then they can bake. i want to sit down with people like this and just read the Word.....encourage them to open their hearts and eyes to the view that lies outside their little picture of life.........i want to encourage people to become the wood, nails, hammer and hands that builds the bridge for people who stand just outside the church ....for people who run from the church....a bridge that leads to the cross.....the Father....the giver of life and love....the protector....the very hands of mercy and grace......

so today my heart broke and my journey slowed down...and instead of being dizzy i was sad....but i also am so thankful. thankful that today was my day to give the devotion...that today i was too tired to do something else...something that i hadn't done....i am thankful that God has blessed people like Louie to see stories we were rasied on with new eyes....that we hear the story again for the first time..... i am thankful that something about me on this day comforted a person enough that they could come and talk to me....i am thankful that God would use me...as unworthy and unable to do it as i am....i am thankful that my day was slow....that i had nothing else on my plate....i am thankful that i took the time to listen........Jesus is merciful i shared with her....He cares more then anyone you will ever look in the eyes....

she has hope now she says.....she is bringing her daughter to our youth event friday night.... may we all be merciful tomorrow. may we all shine Him with out any agenda but to shine Him from our hearts..........may our broken hearts flow of His love, mercy and grace.....

back to the journey......one foot infront of the other........slowly...yet with HOPE

the collision has arrived.............

...........and it was/is freakin brilliant!

do you have it yet? if not- what the heck are you doing? stop now....go get it.....it is truly a treat of yumminess for the ears.....it is classic crowder- not just pushing the envelope with each new cd...but recreating how the freaking thing goes together....

so spent the night in wacko-waco at the release party/concert- robbie seay band=stinkin nails (another cd to go get if you don't got) shane and shane=amazing .....and then .... the crowder crew- freakin brilliant---truly brilliant.....the whole night amazing....well minus the HEAT- hello like 100 in waco today...think it was 99 inside ubc....lots of bodies...lots of sweat....lots of amazing tunes...lots of love....and best of all ....lots of HIS GLORY!

but now i am tired....beat....exhausted....yet freakin stoked and full of joy.....ahh nothing like a great night of amazing worship of the ONE- Jesus- to cause you to drift off to dream land smiling and humming....or after tonight and one funky song....whistling...but well you gots to get the cd to understand that.....oh yeah....welcome back rock opera! SWEET......
night!
happy trails............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

rescue the perishing.............

care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save.....

So it was written a long time ago...1870 to be exact- but the words have been ringing over and over in my heart since katrina made land fall and as we watched rita prepare to hit.

i was doing some visiting in midland over labor day weekend and was told i needed to hear this hymn that was done in the church service the week before- before katrina hit- before we knew what we now see.

a couple had taken the song and arranged it a little differently- added to the chours gave it a bridge- but the truth of the words rang out just like they must have back in 1870 when Fanny Crosby wrote it- a call to all- a plea- a comand- a duty..........

i keep coming back to the words- "rescue the perishing, care for the dying, snatch them in pity from sin and the grave; weep over the erring one, lift up the fallen, tell them of Jesus the mighty to save. .....rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save."....

how? what can i do? pray- sure been there doing that....but what can i physically do? how can my hand reach out?

"Though they are slighting him, still he is waiting, waiting the penitent child to receive; plead with them earnestly, plead with them gently; he will forgive if they only believe. .......rescue the persishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save."

life is a precious gift- i have been glued to fox news over the past weeks- watching- looking- crying- seeing the devistation and heartbreak on the faces of so many. their questions ring out in my mind........"WHY?" ...... i have been relieved to see that many people are not trying to answer that question with smugness- with "the answer"- instead i have seen (on the most part) compassion. compassion on the faces of those who have gone to help....compassion on the faces of those who are reaching out.....compassion- it is a beautiful thing in the midst of dispare and horror.....

"down in the human heart, crushed by the tempter, feelings lie buried that grace can restore; touched by a loving heart, wakened by kindness, chords that were broken will vibrate once more.......rescue the persishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save...... Rescue the perishing, duty demands it; strength for thy labor the Lord will provide; back to the narrow way patiently win them; tell the poor wanderer a Savior has died.....rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save!"

how will you be a part of the "rescue" mission? i am trying to figure that out myself right now- how can my hands reach out....how can i wash?

rescue the perishing, care for the dying, Jesus is merciful, Jesus will save!

the missing friend

so i try hard to stay in touch with people....not always so easy.....but i do my best- well i would like to think i do- i guess i could do better...but that is not what this is about....i have taken a side trip...excuse me while i get back on the original road......

i LOVE photographs...old....new....black and white....color....sephia....glossy....matte.....i love what the potographs represent.....they are pictures of a time frozen forever....some show faces.....some show land...but all of them tell a story.... (like this one of a friend and his son on a boat ride in florida....it tells more about the people then the event...)

if you come to my home...or to my office....or just glace through my bible you will find pictures....some of faces...some of land...some that are black and white....some that are in color....i have cut some to fit a space...i have enlarged others to scream a story.....reguardless....pictures are everywhere......and i am always looking for new ones....i go nowhere without at least one camera......... yet today the pictures that surround me with joy....have also brought a stab of sadness to my heart........sitting here at my desk the faces of so many stare at me....people who i have met over the years...students who have been a part of a ministry.......as i look at the faces i can tell you things about each person....yet a few pictures are harder to talk about....they are the faces of people who i don't see regularly....some i wonder if i will ever spend time with them again.....then there is a face of a friend who impacted my life in amazing ways........yet this picture is the one that haunts me the most....see i haven't talked to this friend in a while....not for lack of trying....for awhile they couldn't be found- didn't want to be found- but one day i did find them....yet i think they didn't want to be found....the phone call remains unreturned....it is sad really....

you see i believe that as we walk this journey called life God blesses us by bringing people in and out of our lives....some of these people are meant to be there only for a moment....a small corner of the great picture of what God is wanting us to see and experience....(i am sure you all know the type of people i am talking about...you might share names and a conversation yet you know that will be all it ever is).....but others you know without doubt that your paths have been crossed for a greater moment then a quick shared story. your lives will forever be linked in some way....these are the people you strive to stay in contact with...you work at the relationship....they are also the ones that if you go 6 months between seeing each other it is like that time didn't happen when you get together....and those are the people that when they go missing from your life you wonder about them lots.....so this is where i am with this friend....i have taken most pictures of them down....they have become too hard to look at daily....just a reminder of a friend that is missing....i keep a few of them up....not that i need them to recall the face, the places, the memories and the times shared....but it is a comfort to glance and see their face......but some days it is like i am looking at the milk carton picture...or the big billboards of children and people who are missing.....i always feel for the people whos lives have been interupted by the missing person in thier life...unlike them i know where my friend is....i know they are alright....so in that way i am blessed....but i would still like to file a missing friend report today....just want them to know that they are loved.........missed.........they made a impression in my life....that won't change.....

so why does God cause our lives to cross if some encounters will only bring pain in the end? it is a process of life...a process of finding who we really are.....no matter who we are and where we go ultimatly we are shaped by our past and our present....and truthfully we are never alone on the journey........God is there....and if you ever doubt that look at the faces that surround you.....look at the pictures on your wall...in your office....and if you don't have pictures go grap a camera and start getting those moments of time............

well i need to go run in circles.......
happy trails!

so in april i was in austin visiting a few of my old students who are now college students...anyway you can see these posters all over austin.....well the unedited version that is....the one that reads 'american for peace*help stop war'.....you see them everywhere....so boldly proclaiming the message.....but see i found this 'edited' version of the popular poster on the wall of a very bold college student. does it strike you as interesting that a college student sees beyond a message on a poster? he gets it.....it isn't about the war....i don't think you will find one person who thinks war is good....it is tough it is hard....but terrorism is a crazy thing.....it is big.....it reaches into the hearts and homes of everyone.....instead of being against the war why not be in support of those who are working for us....fighting for freedom....fighting to end terrorism. i can't say i am for the war....but i also won't say i am against it. instead i will choose to pray for those who are fighting and defending america.....so for now....i must say.....i am an american against terrorism! pray for our leaders....pray for our soldiers........pray for today and tomorrow.....

what is reality?

i have a confession- i like reality tv....i do....there i said it....i know that makes me kinda lame- but well there is something that i enjoy about it, can't for sure tell you what that is...but i enjoy it from time to time....

so last night i settled in to watch a little tv and just vegg some more. the day was a 'blank stare' day so i knew not to expect too much of myself. so i settled in and turned on the tub- hit my dvr button and prepared to watch 'the scholar' and feel dumber then dumb....i mean come on those kids know stuff that i am sure was never taught when i was in high school...or maybe i was asleep in that class....at anyrate these kids have brains that i can only dream of having....yet as i sat and watched the last show of the series i found myself a little shocked by what i heard them saying. over the last few weeks they have had team challenges and 'captain quizes' that have tested not only their brain smarts but their heart smarts, their integrity....they were used to test the 'value' of each student. so last night as i watch it hits me- these kids are stressin over winning because it means a full ride to the college of their choice. when you listen to them talk you see that their identity is in if they win or not...and if they have lost already they talk so down on themselves.....so this is my question- have we gone to far? is it insane to be asking high school graduates to go on national television and compete for a full ride scholarship...to be known as 'the scholar'? i mean come on- you should have heard them talk about themselves and thier team mates. you should have heard the 'scholarship commitee' talk about these students like they were statistics to be measured into socitey...why is there so much pressure on students to be the best, the brightest, star athlete....when did it become nolonger acceptable to just be a high school student enjoying school and doing their best? when did the desire to be come the top inch out the students who have lots going for them but may not score perfect on the sat? just where is our society taking education? who decided what a 'top' student looked like?

so as i watched the show last night (fastforwarding through the comercials-thank goodness for DVR) i see a glimpse of the newest reality tvshow to hit the tube...brat camp....hummm i can't go there...i won't be watching this one.....we have finally gone to far.....we have gone from having the 'top' compete for who is the best....the toppest of tops....and now we have children who are struggling in life....who are challenged and hunted by thoughts and expeinces of life...and we have put them on national television and called it of all things 'brat camp'- these are children- the very beloved children of God- who need help- who society has called out....so here they are....down....out....and on national television for our viewing pleasure....you know what....the hurts of the world are reality....the war in iraq is reality......families not able to afford education is reality....people who struggle that is reality.....but when do we say enough is enough and pull the plug on societies desire to watch the lives of others so they can say 'well atleast that isn't me' or 'i am better then that'......so i guess i have to rethink somethings.....i like reality tv..i love survivor, amazing race, hells kitchen, and was intrested in what took place on the scholar....but brat camp is too much too far too real....

humm well back to my reality of work and more work......
happy trails!

the blank stare

so today i have the 'blank stare' down.

i was gone all week with my students at a youth event- it was good....but sleep escaped me- always seems to when i am off with my students. it was a good week- we were in oklahoma and stayed at OU- it was okay- the beds were bad....the food was not too hot (yet scary cause for college food it was good).....the walking was the tough part. we clocked a min of 5 miles a day in the nice heat of norman...but it was worth it. lots of great worship- lots of great speakers- and some sic concerts and such-over all pretty good week....

the close of my week was celebrated by spending all day saturday at 6 flags- woo hoo- okay so it would have been LOADS more fun had i slept the week past- but still it was fun and we got to see third day in the events of the day as well...and even managed to ride a coaster....

so that is what has led to today and the 'blank stare'
no matter how hard i try i can't seem to get all the areas of my brain to fire at the same time- it is strange. it has been a day kinda like a bad horror movie...yeah know the ones where they show the person 'watching what is happening' but are not a part of what is taking place? yeah that is where i am- i few times i have had the start of a great thought but somewhere between thought and putting a pen to paper to write it down my brain misfires and the end result is the blank stare......so with that.....i am calling it a day- i'm off- headin home- excited to see my puppies and even more excited about finding my favorite jammies waiting for me and then putting something mindless on the tv and perfecting the 'blank stare'- wonder if i can get a award for it?

happy trails!